tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-44170960712287885002024-03-13T21:55:12.159-05:00I Can't Control EverythingChristahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03360238855647639317noreply@blogger.comBlogger286125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4417096071228788500.post-6591443559611521452018-11-29T16:20:00.000-06:002018-11-29T16:20:40.863-06:00Its Been 5 Years. Wow. If anyone's still out there, or catches this, I'm still here. <br />
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For what it's worth, I'm now 36 years old. I'm still a mom. Things, lets just say, have changed a bit. <br />
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<strong><u>2014</u></strong> - Spent the year figuring out what to do about my imploded marriage, tried to save it near the end of the year after I kept being told how much he loved me and would never hurt me or the kids again. <br />
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<strong><u>2015</u></strong> - Two days into the new year, I met his new mistress he'd been sleeping with for the past year as he set us up on some kind of sick playdate with our kids. Her 3 year old daughter gave them up and he walked out that night for good. I filed for divorce four days later. In those 4 days: my husband left us, I changed the locks, started a brand new job, got an attorney and quickly went after divorce and custody of the kids. It was hell, basically. I spent the year in a nasty divorce battle with a man who was never committed to recovery and started his new "family" unit with his mistress immediately. He never put our kids first and hasn't since. I was awarded primary custody but we share legal custody. He doesn't get additional visitation until he completes a therapy program (as of 2018 he's made no effort or progress; he recently married his mistress). I went through my own therapy and made a new friend whose wife left him in a similar fashion and we helped each other survive the year from hell. He and I became more than best friends and we ended up falling in love. But we dated away from our kids as we always put them first. To put it simply: he's incredible. <br />
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2016 - Divorces were finalized for both of us, our kids were introduced and we ended up moving in together in his small town just south of where I had lived. Everyone was happy. He had two daughters who were close in age to mine. His youngest was a month older than Grace and his oldest was a year older than Claire. <br />
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2017 - We relocated later in the year, I got a new job, we bought a house and we got engaged. All in all, it was a good year. (Save for high-conflict ex-spouses constantly creating as many issues as possible, but we were stronger than it all)<br />
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2018 - We got married in June (it was beautiful) and we decided we wanted to try for a baby. We figured it was a long shot with my history alone and my age. He, on the other hand, is super fertile from what we could tell, so we planned to try for a year and then hang it up. I'd gotten an IUD in 2015 (which I HATED by the way) so that came out in July, I got a prescription for Femara (Letrozole), took some Melatonin for improved egg quality, used OPK's to see what was up with me, tried and what do you know - I got pregnant. Still am, and due around the end of April 2019. What? I know. Crazy.<br />
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Like I said. Things have changed. :)<br />
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Claire is now 7 and in First Grade. She's whip smart and so much like me. Grace is 5 and is in Pre-K; she's the pistol I predicted she'd be from the day she was born. I got to keep the cats, yes they're still alive. We have a dog now too, a rescue pup. I also have two wonderful step-daughters, ages 5 and almost 8. All the girls are thrilled about the new baby and we find out what it is in a couple of weeks. So far, its looked healthy and I feel plenty of movement (I bought a new Doppler, of course). <br />
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I do miss blogging, and the community. Its been a long 5 years and seems so much longer. Thank you to everyone who supported me through my journey; I've never forgotten you and think of you often. Christahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03360238855647639317noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4417096071228788500.post-71197446988476433372013-11-28T20:39:00.001-06:002013-11-28T20:39:11.492-06:00Happy Thanksgiving!<p dir=ltr>All is fine. I go back to work in a week and a half. Maternity leave has flown by!</p>
<p dir=ltr>The husband and I still go to therapy. We are just surviving parenthood. He still sleeps downstairs. He's more like a roommate.</p>
<p dir=ltr>Grace is adorable. She is also attached to my boobs. She's bigger than Claire was and eats nonstop. I may have to supplement to keep up with her.</p>
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<p dir=ltr>A screamer from the start, it appears we have a spitfire on our hands. Her position was such that a C-section was inevitable, face out, no engagement.</p>
<p dir=ltr>She's all about breastfeeding and really latches well at this point. But its marathon nursing till my milk comes in. I'm the human pacifier. Oh well. It's the first 24 hours. </p>
<p dir=ltr>Claire and Grace met. Claire was out of sorts but was sweet. More to follow... So tired.</p>
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<p dir=ltr>The husband is still in the house but lives downstairs on the couch and out of the downstairs bathroom. He and I are in therapy twice a week and he goes to 2 SAA meetings a week. He has a sponsor and has no access to his cell phone or the laptop while at home. The cell phone bill came in and I scoured it and he's been on his best behavior since I discovered what he was doing.</p>
<p dir=ltr>We are working on him and I'm working on getting through how I feel about everything. I'm due in 3 days (10/23) with a C-section scheduled in 5 (10/25) if no naturally occurring VBAC. I am willing to let him be at the hospital during the birth and it'll be a game-time decision as to whether he witnesses the birth.</p>
<p dir=ltr>We are acting as parents and roommates but not really functioning as a married couple. I'm beyond hurt and just need more time. I've been more focused on Claire and preparing for the baby's arrival. I'm so thrilled that I finally get to meet her this week!</p>
<p dir=ltr>As for the pregnancy, all is "boring" and I can't complain. Swollen ankles, stretched out belly, sore hips and back, etc. She moves so much and it does hurt but I am pretty used to it. </p>
<p dir=ltr>Claire turned 2 yesterday. No party but she got to see all of her local family and go several fun places. She's amazing! </p>
<p dir=ltr>She knows her ABC's, counts to 20, knows shapes and colors and has a huge vocabulary. She is loving and hilarious. The potty training is progressing and we'll see if it sticks when the baby comes. She still gets a binky at bedtime and I'm hoping to wean her from that also after her sister arrives.</p>
<p dir=ltr>I'll be sure to post birth and baby info when it happens. ;)</p>
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text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrBRCO5ATOb3VTfHfp4vF0vOms7oCtslsE2GKuKQWzL3b7S2DDBmnurf9-aihv4S6qlHTkDHVl1NxSFANH7fLs-WXr_n_QW9nWbpFpUe4wAwwwnLDTPjyLrVfYb9pxpeIlm1EMiMJhqGk/s1600/IMG_20131020_172434.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrBRCO5ATOb3VTfHfp4vF0vOms7oCtslsE2GKuKQWzL3b7S2DDBmnurf9-aihv4S6qlHTkDHVl1NxSFANH7fLs-WXr_n_QW9nWbpFpUe4wAwwwnLDTPjyLrVfYb9pxpeIlm1EMiMJhqGk/s640/IMG_20131020_172434.jpg"> </a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiA-B42eHuY-3tPq9nICkKNDPIe-2P9148k23WsYTL7MY4HYsCBnaVFbIra6EqCJM8iQeUdA4ycf9qMTmxrZSTZ7bGSxY1CExvSlUHsw5sscwEpuxL2671Fn7L2ikYE5YLHBINpoq7gdXo/s1600/IMG_20131020_172503.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiA-B42eHuY-3tPq9nICkKNDPIe-2P9148k23WsYTL7MY4HYsCBnaVFbIra6EqCJM8iQeUdA4ycf9qMTmxrZSTZ7bGSxY1CExvSlUHsw5sscwEpuxL2671Fn7L2ikYE5YLHBINpoq7gdXo/s640/IMG_20131020_172503.jpg"> </a> </div>Christahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03360238855647639317noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4417096071228788500.post-10158166478877371342013-09-06T18:52:00.001-05:002013-09-06T18:52:37.381-05:00Rock Bottom<p dir=ltr>Thank you to anyone who commented and is sending supportive thoughts my way. I really have no one but my parents to talk to right now and I do feel blessed to have any support.</p>
<p dir=ltr>We went to counseling on Tuesday evening. The counselor diagnosed DH as a sex addict. I've told him for years I suspected he had a problem but until he started admitting things in that painful hour session, I had no idea how bad off/sick he is.</p>
<p dir=ltr>I had to get him to take steps to rid the house of his porn collection, I canceled Cinemax and HBO. I took the laptop. I asked for his phone.</p>
<p dir=ltr>Wait, you ask, wtf is he doing in your house still? Why are you doing all the work and not him?</p>
<p dir=ltr>1. I'm pregnant and need help with the house.<br>
2. We need another counseling session to work out living arrangements.<br>
3. My kids.</p>
<p dir=ltr>See, right now, if he doesn't hit rock bottom, he won't fully commit to recovery like he says he has. Also, I refuse to allow him to continue the behavior in this house with my daughter here. </p>
<p dir=ltr>He didn't do any work because he has to be told to do everything. He has never been proactive. Also he's a sick bastard.</p>
<p dir=ltr>The future is bleak for him and my kids if he doesn't get help immediately. So my relationship with him right now is, in effect, over for now. But I'm focusing on getting help for him, for my kids' sake. If he steps out of line or slips, he's out of the house or I'll leave with Claire. That's the plan for now. I'm also separating our finances since I don't trust him and if we do split I have to be smart.</p>
<p dir=ltr>How am I? One half a wreck and he other half a momma bear protecting my cubs. The pregnancy is now wearing on me; swollen ankles, hard to walk as my hips are on fire, can't sleep, and the braxton hicks are constant it seems.</p>
<p dir=ltr>Did I mention that I got myself tested for STDs? That was both painful and humiliating but the responsible thing to to.</p>
<p dir=ltr>He says he never slept with anyone, just had a phone affair with sexting and constant texts and photos exchanged. Duh I saw that in the records.</p>
<p dir=ltr>I feel he's lying to keep me here because if he slept with anyone he knows I'll divorce him for sure.</p>
<p dir=ltr>He went to a sex addicts anonymous meeting last night and plans on going two days a week in addition to intensive therapy and marriage counseling. I guess we'll see.</p>
<p dir=ltr>This is not how I wanted to spend the last six or so weeks of pregnancy. The nursery isn't even done. Goddammit.</p>
<p dir=ltr>I'm so angry for me and my baby girls. We don't deserve any of this. </p>
<p dir=ltr>Thanks again for the support. Each comment felt like a hug, honestly. </p>
Christahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03360238855647639317noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4417096071228788500.post-5079236775078353042013-09-04T20:21:00.001-05:002013-09-04T20:21:19.603-05:00Who Cheats On Their PREGNANT Wife?<p dir=ltr>Yep. DH is having an affair. I found out Monday after he got a weird text message and lied about it.</p>
<p dir=ltr>I checked the phone records that night and I found months of exchanges between him and this other number. He lied till the facts were laid out. Then he blamed me. </p>
<p dir=ltr>11 years as a couple, nearly 6 years of marriage, 5 years of infertility, one daughter and another on the way and he went online and found someone else.</p>
<p dir=ltr>So my life is a shit storm right now. And I'm due in 7 weeks. </p>
Christahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03360238855647639317noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4417096071228788500.post-34509155537528495772013-08-07T10:31:00.001-05:002013-08-07T10:41:43.085-05:0028/29 weeks<p dir=ltr>All is well. Baby kicks and rolls all the time. Its definitely harder to be pregnant while caring for a toddler. Claire got ecoli and had to stay out of daycare for 2+ weeks till her stool samples came back negative. It made for a long July between her being sick and then the recovery process. But she had no complications so we're very happy about that.</p>
<p dir=ltr>Today she's home with me (again) due to her contracting strep throat. Poor kiddo. I got her cold but hopefully not the strep.</p>
<p dir=ltr>I'm 29 weeks today and very ready to meet this little girl. Too bad the nursery isn't anywhere near done. I have been stocking up on supplies this time. Lesson learned with Claire...</p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgP-JZa3x40Hxb3jYN0obONzgnvqCivJruhyYFs1daAAhh7qZJOawtjshVsRnxPpFaJMW8k3gXoQpnIMiCfatN9pivM9r8Bph2b_YLGpq65HSOKt5HFB3gz7r3BxnHFMXDTNfKXeqMmn4M/s1600/IMG_20130804_204016.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgP-JZa3x40Hxb3jYN0obONzgnvqCivJruhyYFs1daAAhh7qZJOawtjshVsRnxPpFaJMW8k3gXoQpnIMiCfatN9pivM9r8Bph2b_YLGpq65HSOKt5HFB3gz7r3BxnHFMXDTNfKXeqMmn4M/s640/IMG_20130804_204016.jpg"> </a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrltvaPHQvkG0TZ_YuwsgmbhHL0-Z0Wk-UOBOwCeZ1t9mTcjF3qRDFjqiBBupyR2Q7BHzSZvPk8jSJIkMe0rbakdwfAS-4ZBouwxNlVC5JzzTPYZfUD6X0jxHi0eRsabV0QMbu9kR17Gc/s1600/IMG_20130717_200247.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrltvaPHQvkG0TZ_YuwsgmbhHL0-Z0Wk-UOBOwCeZ1t9mTcjF3qRDFjqiBBupyR2Q7BHzSZvPk8jSJIkMe0rbakdwfAS-4ZBouwxNlVC5JzzTPYZfUD6X0jxHi0eRsabV0QMbu9kR17Gc/s640/IMG_20130717_200247.jpg"> </a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9HdliZd30IttE3-Ft7vJOCmnzQbqMsuTxtaIhDHdyGRKAksxspZvSu_cHhjJA33a_lt2WGtaV4wSXIgb9bSo_qu6Rzl9TBDQzuxar8oongulFwRwuR0MIFSLPBwNRQ3_eR_N7nSWnPKI/s1600/IMG_20130806_195344.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9HdliZd30IttE3-Ft7vJOCmnzQbqMsuTxtaIhDHdyGRKAksxspZvSu_cHhjJA33a_lt2WGtaV4wSXIgb9bSo_qu6Rzl9TBDQzuxar8oongulFwRwuR0MIFSLPBwNRQ3_eR_N7nSWnPKI/s640/IMG_20130806_195344.jpg"> </a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAMDIPo3KyzBz9WDz5wx8UfHHfTaLA2HSg_Rk3fzw7DIhQ1xdXkda5Q-hqZard3vmE1FvThn-2pvW0hZ4VRU1Va-XyqgrS11M7K1COCC_0JdBebiMsFmDM7hsJoPYKwU77ASz-taET0ZQ/s1600/IMG_20130731_164602.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAMDIPo3KyzBz9WDz5wx8UfHHfTaLA2HSg_Rk3fzw7DIhQ1xdXkda5Q-hqZard3vmE1FvThn-2pvW0hZ4VRU1Va-XyqgrS11M7K1COCC_0JdBebiMsFmDM7hsJoPYKwU77ASz-taET0ZQ/s640/IMG_20130731_164602.jpg"> </a> </div>Christahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03360238855647639317noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4417096071228788500.post-64040688494110967112013-06-22T10:20:00.001-05:002013-06-22T10:20:01.699-05:00Week 22<p dir=ltr>This pregnancy continues to go well. I feel better and better and I'm reminded of how the middle of my pregnancy with Claire was so comfortable.</p>
<p dir=ltr>I continue to spoil and love my little girl before her sister arrives. We've begun potty training and its been more of a transition than a sudden change. She's doing very well.</p>
<p dir=ltr>I keep finding great deals on second hand toys so we've been adding to the collection pretty quickly. A wagon, slide, kitchen, makeup table...I can't seem to stop. Hopefully she'll share with her sister!</p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEje_XnVcpXF224h4M4wKhw5QAiuCS62ZfRi8G3MMlYgriNj9fkT17Y3InPnBzLSz3XHc65hnN5HY4JezKDDezyjBromofXe8y3M_5ZOKP2qmGy4mjYwrt0oznY275lMKWsv1K-Z9Q5eTvM/s1600/IMG_20130620_064514.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEje_XnVcpXF224h4M4wKhw5QAiuCS62ZfRi8G3MMlYgriNj9fkT17Y3InPnBzLSz3XHc65hnN5HY4JezKDDezyjBromofXe8y3M_5ZOKP2qmGy4mjYwrt0oznY275lMKWsv1K-Z9Q5eTvM/s640/IMG_20130620_064514.jpg"> </a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3hBREueKV8Sy5Kp4xI3_mdcAHZiQDnwZIQd_vzFX8Bqe5OklBSPlRL6hcmxx26dIau_eE1OjmE249yv_hPxZTuyF1nk7P2fJBocZG0-DlKRKoK-a7hzrZ71djFtm_qqnxK3fZ1I8-eEU/s1600/IMG_20130612_200319.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3hBREueKV8Sy5Kp4xI3_mdcAHZiQDnwZIQd_vzFX8Bqe5OklBSPlRL6hcmxx26dIau_eE1OjmE249yv_hPxZTuyF1nk7P2fJBocZG0-DlKRKoK-a7hzrZ71djFtm_qqnxK3fZ1I8-eEU/s640/IMG_20130612_200319.jpg"> </a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGAeMa1wpEa0H_Wx3bIyHX_yVtyBFEh-IgbLGsQT8zDTHbiwCPvD5XUiJPm0pSfKpa0GmUDcg22O_6Jvz5rx8DOCuRW7heoMhrMl4Klg-yz83iU5o-zz5eLgsPrkvkHdA31VQTxVzhQSw/s1600/IMG_20130609_185034.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGAeMa1wpEa0H_Wx3bIyHX_yVtyBFEh-IgbLGsQT8zDTHbiwCPvD5XUiJPm0pSfKpa0GmUDcg22O_6Jvz5rx8DOCuRW7heoMhrMl4Klg-yz83iU5o-zz5eLgsPrkvkHdA31VQTxVzhQSw/s640/IMG_20130609_185034.jpg"> </a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjatiVdf67n1YAacThPYI-0gpIc1H1Flgb3WD_PPxc1q306TtlRN_dVgWW8feeXILcjQBcSEJy_zwn4C_0gMoIRQFinoNWpLFPRaidGi6KpiQ7jXk97zLSH2U4YKv1fvHqRQvzcKbkrFGc/s1600/IMG_20130616_160621.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjatiVdf67n1YAacThPYI-0gpIc1H1Flgb3WD_PPxc1q306TtlRN_dVgWW8feeXILcjQBcSEJy_zwn4C_0gMoIRQFinoNWpLFPRaidGi6KpiQ7jXk97zLSH2U4YKv1fvHqRQvzcKbkrFGc/s640/IMG_20130616_160621.jpg"> </a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0ytrfdvv_tdCT4n6Cr6ZrS3r3ijyqigdMH-kbynSww3lRe-3aovOUSpw5Nm42VlWywRQ4qzLRBxl5zoDO2pU7rXOn5Qzgrn788yrxZ5UtBOJfeMEQ9eyhUzLYJDKnHXUsQQUJ4m77BWY/s1600/IMG_20130616_220151.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0ytrfdvv_tdCT4n6Cr6ZrS3r3ijyqigdMH-kbynSww3lRe-3aovOUSpw5Nm42VlWywRQ4qzLRBxl5zoDO2pU7rXOn5Qzgrn788yrxZ5UtBOJfeMEQ9eyhUzLYJDKnHXUsQQUJ4m77BWY/s640/IMG_20130616_220151.jpg"> </a> </div>Christahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03360238855647639317noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4417096071228788500.post-59178618081694803612013-06-07T21:16:00.001-05:002013-06-07T21:16:58.876-05:00Week 20<p dir=ltr>Baby is awesome! Measured at 20w1d with a due date of 10/23/13. That's four days after Claire's birthday.</p>
<p dir=ltr>We also found out what we're having.</p>
<p dir=ltr>Another girl! Sisters! </p>
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<p dir=ltr>We find out what's in that belly this Thursday morning. I'm so excited!!! Baby is kicking and punching a lot so things are definitely normal there.</p>
<p dir=ltr>I'm finally getting to my pre-pregnancy weight due to such bad morning sickness.  I still have good aversions but McDonald plain cheeseburgers are my biggest craving right now. I know, Ewww.</p>
<p dir=ltr>Claire is great! We start potty training next week since she is very ready. Smart little girl, I tell ya. </p>
<p dir=ltr>I'll let you all know if its a boy or girl, I promise. We're telling my family after work Thursday and DH's family on Friday.</p>
<p dir=ltr>With the pics below, my faves are the ones with the rainbow in the background. She is definitely our Rainbow Baby. </p>
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Christahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03360238855647639317noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4417096071228788500.post-78620817806115599102013-05-03T06:20:00.001-05:002013-05-03T06:20:11.763-05:00Week 14<p dir=ltr>...ended yesterday but I still need to post. </p>
<p dir=ltr>No belly pics yet. It is all flab mostly but my belly button is starting to flatten already. That took over 30 weeks last time. I also weighed more last time.</p>
<p dir=ltr>The morning sickness is pretty much gone. I have to eat all day long to keep the nausea away but that's fine.</p>
<p dir=ltr>Cravings: Gatorade, candy, movie (gas station) popcorn, ice cream, chocolate milk, oranges, steak, potatoes and donuts.</p>
<p dir=ltr>Sleep: I try to stay up till 9. I was in bed at 730 on Wednesday when Claire went to bed. I'm exhausted.</p>
<p dir=ltr>Emotional? Yes.</p>
<p dir=ltr>Movement? Not sure. I felt "popcorn" at 15 weeks with Claire. I feel gas bubbles now but I think its the baby. We'll see I guess.</p>
Christahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03360238855647639317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4417096071228788500.post-14661231797641944472013-04-25T21:17:00.001-05:002013-04-25T21:17:25.476-05:00Week 13<p dir=ltr>...is over today. The morning sickness is a lot better too. Evening nausea seems to come on yet. </p>
<p dir=ltr>I'm starting belly pics next week. My regular pants barely fit and even if I suck it in, there's definitely a bump now.</p>
<p dir=ltr>2nd trimester, here I come!</p>
Christahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03360238855647639317noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4417096071228788500.post-13778719566076882862013-04-25T21:15:00.001-05:002013-04-25T21:15:42.088-05:00Week 12<p dir=ltr>The appt went great. Baby was fine, we got some quick pics and afterward we told our families the big news.</p>
<p dir=ltr>The next day we posted it on Facebook. I can't believe it.</p>
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<p dir=ltr>I'm definitely feeling better. I can tolerate more food and its been about 2 weeks since I last puked. I'm still nauseous but its not as bad as it was. </p>
<p dir=ltr>I can feel pressure where my uterus is growing and I have a little belly starting. It must be true that you show sooner the second time around. Its hard to say that because this is my 6th pregnancy.</p>
<p dir=ltr>We'll be sharing the news with our siblings tomorrow, then our co-workers on Monday. Probably Facebook that day too. I can't believe I'm putting this on Facebook. </p>
Christahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03360238855647639317noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4417096071228788500.post-7585760190020061802013-04-03T21:12:00.001-05:002013-04-03T21:12:17.269-05:0010w5d<p dir=ltr>So I got my Doppler back from my SIL last Saturday and used it as soon as Claire was in bed. At only 10 weeks I found the baby's heartbeat! I just tried it again tonight and found it right away! Its such an amazing feeling and I'm so grateful.</p>
<p dir=ltr>Easter was fun; Claire had a little egg hunt in the house since it was cold outside yet.</p>
<p dir=ltr>She met the Easter bunny the weekend prior but wasn't impressed.</p>
<p dir=ltr>I'm feeling better some days and pretty sick other days. I hope it fades away soon but that's wishful thinking... I lost 15 lbs the first trimester with Claire and this time I'm down about 5 lbs. That's because my starting weight was 20 lbs lower than last time. </p>
<p dir=ltr>I'm wearing maternity dress pants now and they feel awesome. Like sweatpants! I'm looking so forward to next Friday's doctor's appointment. We'll get a quick peek at the baby and enter into the second trimester!</p>
<div class='separator' style='clear: both; text-align: center;'> <a href='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-_aBMflDZRUMLiZ-1YoWjvoEeIysOjHBd49frC4YBLCUGyyWHs1jcRY95Hd1sIhCBor3xgNgTj-30N-itKTH21ID2MFsgZVSvorn0SGbfQgW-JuiUa-6jX5xiv6IhMoaMI10wjnu3we8/s1600/IMG_20130331_122054.jpg' imageanchor='1' style='margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;'> <img border='0' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-_aBMflDZRUMLiZ-1YoWjvoEeIysOjHBd49frC4YBLCUGyyWHs1jcRY95Hd1sIhCBor3xgNgTj-30N-itKTH21ID2MFsgZVSvorn0SGbfQgW-JuiUa-6jX5xiv6IhMoaMI10wjnu3we8/s640/IMG_20130331_122054.jpg' /> </a> </div><div class='separator' style='clear: both; text-align: center;'> <a href='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0b7wRKek_v78Norz-qw3qyL_td4HKtRUx1tCbQu0xlPhPxshhTOMMiw2ubLOH2m7QKEXalfRXv7nxshv-rEHQUVDoTfXy8WQYTJ1_Hz6Iz0r3eKzNpxsShByMR4uHXKK0z_hxaR13Wr8/s1600/IMG_20130323_140620.jpg' imageanchor='1' style='margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;'> <img border='0' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0b7wRKek_v78Norz-qw3qyL_td4HKtRUx1tCbQu0xlPhPxshhTOMMiw2ubLOH2m7QKEXalfRXv7nxshv-rEHQUVDoTfXy8WQYTJ1_Hz6Iz0r3eKzNpxsShByMR4uHXKK0z_hxaR13Wr8/s640/IMG_20130323_140620.jpg' /> </a> </div>Christahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03360238855647639317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4417096071228788500.post-59704663118282610732013-03-28T06:13:00.001-05:002013-03-28T06:13:17.569-05:009w6d<p dir=ltr>This was an interesting week of pregnancy. My morning sickness kicked into high gear Monday night and I wasn't able to keep anything down, including water. I stayed home from work on Tuesday and got a stronger prescription for the nausea: phenergan. I'm alternating that with the Zofran and have been feeling better. I'm mostly following a BRAT diet too. </p>
<p dir=ltr>I got worried that I couldn't keep down my vitamins, prednisone and baby aspirin. Then I feared dehydration. I took some of Claire's pedialyte in a desperate attempt to get better too. I think the ms just peaked (hopefully).</p>
<p dir=ltr>Yesterday was 3/27. That is a big milestone for me, mostly emotionally. This pregnancy is officially the second-longest out of six. Claire, of course, is the winner. Tomorrow is 10 weeks. Time is not flying but at least its passing.</p>
Christahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03360238855647639317noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4417096071228788500.post-32899879855697022222013-03-21T06:38:00.001-05:002013-03-21T06:38:35.552-05:008w6d<p dir=ltr>So I'm at the precipice of reaching that milestone of 9 weeks. Claire is the only baby to survive past 9 weeks so we're just waiting - taking it day by day. I'm massively nauseous but mostly force myself to not throw up. The food I'm willing to eat has to stay down somehow.</p>
<p dir=ltr>I was thinking this morning how its so bizarre that I'm pregnant. We tried on our own and after so many years of failure it felt pointless. Or like pretend. "Sure, let's be like normal, fertile people and make a baby on our own!" </p>
<p dir=ltr>But it happened. And the longer this pregnancy lasts the more attached I become to the idea that we will actually welcome another child into this little family of ours in October. I always dreamed of having four kids, but when we hit the wall of infertility and RPL, I swore I'd be happy with even just one baby. Now we might have a second one? Well in my eyes, this baby is a bonus and a miracle.</p>
Christahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03360238855647639317noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4417096071228788500.post-11121915528598261222013-03-12T09:36:00.001-05:002013-03-12T09:36:16.597-05:007w4d<p dir=ltr>Nothing special going on except I continue to feel worse each day. Morning sickness is starting to get the best of me.</p>
<p dir=ltr>I'm exhausted and nauseous 24/7 but that must be a good thing so I'll take it.</p>
<p dir=ltr>We told our parents last weekend and they were very surprised and excited for us. </p>
<p dir=ltr>I've had no spotting but I keep thinking about the blood near the sac. I wish I could have more ultrasounds but for now we have to wait till 12 weeks to see this kiddo again.</p>
<p dir=ltr> So we wait...</p>
Christahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03360238855647639317noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4417096071228788500.post-83540240639470228592013-03-05T11:52:00.001-06:002013-03-06T05:48:55.745-06:00Ultrasound #1 results<p dir=ltr>One baby. HB 122. A little blood near the sac...I'm not terribly worried. Yet.</p>
<p dir=ltr>No spotting so we'll take it one day at a time </p>
<div class='separator' style='clear: both; text-align: center;'> <a href='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMM9034bF3IaMrEzWe5ie1U57mEiyz5k8CqV-wosfGv8hycB1jc-puYeNwAkiQ30ZKoHkUX293zfh0NfGYHuzcenNEcrM643SsPJVN59uQk2GNBXweoq4mY1idOrxPsceT7zV7Djtm-qM/s1600/1362505588812.jpg' imageanchor='1' style='margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;'> <img border='0' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMM9034bF3IaMrEzWe5ie1U57mEiyz5k8CqV-wosfGv8hycB1jc-puYeNwAkiQ30ZKoHkUX293zfh0NfGYHuzcenNEcrM643SsPJVN59uQk2GNBXweoq4mY1idOrxPsceT7zV7Djtm-qM/s640/1362505588812.jpg' /> </a> </div>Christahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03360238855647639317noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4417096071228788500.post-47597171466299057342013-03-04T20:56:00.001-06:002013-03-04T20:56:27.014-06:00Six weeks<p dir=ltr>Vomitfest has begun. No more fast food even if I'm craving it!!!</p>
<p dir=ltr>Ultrasound #1 is tomorrow. Will this all end in bad news or continue on as if we are normal people? Like we're fertile and can sustain a pregnancy? </p>
<p dir=ltr>Sigh.</p>
<p dir=ltr>And a big snowstorm is coming in. Like it'll keep me from Wandy. Yeah right.</p>
<p dir=ltr>I'll post after I get the results. Fingers crossed.</p>
<p dir=ltr>Also SIL had her baby today. Tough labor, rough birth but her baby girl is here and healthy. </p>
Christahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03360238855647639317noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4417096071228788500.post-23980530976399965452013-02-25T21:16:00.001-06:002013-02-25T21:16:23.388-06:00Fifth Week<p dir=ltr>Sooo sick. Desperately trying to not vomit.</p>
<p dir=ltr>DH got a new job today and I got a sweet raise. </p>
<p dir=ltr>One more week till we see what is or isn't cooking in there...</p>
<p dir=ltr>Claire pic for you all:</p>
<div class='separator' style='clear: both; text-align: center;'> <a href='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz-Jht601L8dRF75iqX-VvJo3qUMJUO9ingz7Bau00r7Sk4hZzOG4WAs8muEWrejrWr-ED1zSgil70Qw-sg9v8r9KQgonfITYcqxSpGCT0wnMXNxLoloXXRyDoQMGr4Fk5r97yj2nJP0g/s1600/IMG_20130222_213554.jpg' imageanchor='1' style='margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;'> <img border='0' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz-Jht601L8dRF75iqX-VvJo3qUMJUO9ingz7Bau00r7Sk4hZzOG4WAs8muEWrejrWr-ED1zSgil70Qw-sg9v8r9KQgonfITYcqxSpGCT0wnMXNxLoloXXRyDoQMGr4Fk5r97yj2nJP0g/s640/IMG_20130222_213554.jpg' /> </a> </div>Christahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03360238855647639317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4417096071228788500.post-91965215671559797572013-02-20T05:37:00.001-06:002013-02-20T05:37:50.442-06:004w5d<p dir=ltr>Still pregnant. We lost our first at this point in 2008. Well this one isn't a chemical so I'd like to think we're in the clear today.</p>
<p dir=ltr>I tested up to yesterday to see the lines get darker. They mimic the tests from Claire's pregnancy and for me, that's reassuring.</p>
<p dir=ltr>I feel sick and it seems sooner than with any other time. To think that this is my SIXTH pregnancy....I'm still wrapping my mind around the concept. We always planned on having more kids but I really believed it would be years before I got pregnant again.</p>
<p dir=ltr>With Claire I was on Folgard, heparin injections twice a day, low dose prednisone, prenatal vitamins, baby aspirin and PIO. </p>
<p dir=ltr>This pregnancy I'm taking prenatal vitamins, baby aspirin and low dose prednisone</p>
<p dir=ltr>With Claire I limited myself to picking up nothing more than 10 lbs almost the entire pregnancy.</p>
<p dir=ltr>This pregnancy I'm a mom to a >26 lb toddler. I buy groceries and clean my house. Unless advised otherwise I have to lift some stuff but I'll limit it to Claire's weight class.</p>
<p dir=ltr>Overall we hope that I can be a "normal" pregnant person and have everything go smoothly. Lofty aspirations for someone with RPL but its keeping me calmer, more relaxed.</p>
<p dir=ltr>Also, I continue to remember how long 9 months will be and that I have to take it one day at a time. Its funny, I wake up and have to remind myself that I'm pregnant. Or at work and I'll be in a meeting and think to myself, 'I'm pregnant!'. Then I smile. No matter how long this lasts, I'll be happy and grateful for this baby, just like all the others.</p>
<p dir=ltr>The difference now is, I have Claire and she gives the best hugs and kisses so no matter what happens, she'll get me through whatever happens. Oh and my husband. Ha ha.</p>
<div class='separator' style='clear: both; text-align: center;'> <a href='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIlpvnmYVWstMCpQKVwqpoWUmfx4UWetz1zRay5gJef7GWvIRFoUnPt9bOcYycC22AGrD_CThHGVnezfcz488dN-PISX1T_FUr_3s6VsTlZlf47YKwD6hBjrIm8KAHlvRraK6x91GMv18/s1600/IMG_20130220_051849.jpg' imageanchor='1' style='margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;'> <img border='0' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIlpvnmYVWstMCpQKVwqpoWUmfx4UWetz1zRay5gJef7GWvIRFoUnPt9bOcYycC22AGrD_CThHGVnezfcz488dN-PISX1T_FUr_3s6VsTlZlf47YKwD6hBjrIm8KAHlvRraK6x91GMv18/s640/IMG_20130220_051849.jpg' /> </a> </div>Christahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03360238855647639317noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4417096071228788500.post-89669427911887011272013-02-17T13:42:00.001-06:002013-02-17T13:42:40.439-06:00Beta #2<p dir=ltr><br>
Beta #1 at 14 dpo: 90<br>
Beta #2 at 16 dpo: 286!!!!!!!!</p>
<p dir=ltr>Doubling time of 28.78 hours holy crap!!!</p>
<p dir=ltr>Might this actually be a miracle?</p>
Christahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03360238855647639317noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4417096071228788500.post-11509985799908027032013-02-15T14:29:00.001-06:002013-02-15T15:28:25.486-06:00Beta #1<p dir=ltr>Beta #1 on 14 dpo:</p>
<p dir=ltr>Hcg: 90<br>
Progesterone: 33.2</p>
<p dir=ltr>Yuck. Now we wait till Sundays results are in. But I expected a beta over 100. Better than previous shitty beta /pregnancies but not as encouraging as my IVF pregnancy.</p>
<div class='separator' style='clear: both; text-align: center;'> <a href='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEmif9j7_DbcNyZFzaBUjZcaQeMnRi4MfXZxVbsfndaoOQmUsp97rFPR254EzE1l-hlvYdtKiiOg24ttQ1XPMfp9FYlmnYsZ3LadrvA0QeDoFmTkTzFGZ3PvdfsJJhL2jEk53TBc6xRUo/s1600/IMG_20130215_152741.jpg' imageanchor='1' style='margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;'> <img border='0' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEmif9j7_DbcNyZFzaBUjZcaQeMnRi4MfXZxVbsfndaoOQmUsp97rFPR254EzE1l-hlvYdtKiiOg24ttQ1XPMfp9FYlmnYsZ3LadrvA0QeDoFmTkTzFGZ3PvdfsJJhL2jEk53TBc6xRUo/s640/IMG_20130215_152741.jpg' /> </a> </div>Christahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03360238855647639317noreply@blogger.com2