Negative - Damn

So all evidence points to another big fat failure. The tests are blindingly negative today. AF will start on Thursday. One more cycle is covered by insurance. Only at 50% though so it's basically another hundred dollars or maybe even two hundred  for more out of pocket so we can't complain.

What to do if it doesn't work though? Frick. IUIs seem to be a waste of time. But without a job or coverage for IVF, it's not sensible to just jump right in. We really need something to go our way. For once.

Nothing Yet

Got up at a decent time, got dressed after taking Dollar Tree hpt again. There wasn't just an imprint line, something screwed up the test, it was all squiggly. So instead of taking another one, I went to the local drug store and got manilla envelopes for mailing job applications and 2 boxes of hpts. One was the cbe-like tests from the store. The others? FRERs. Yeah. So $20 later, I'm home tearing open those suckers like it's Christmas. Negative. I think. The CBE wanna be was inconclusive and the FRER wasn't obvious but I thought I saw something.

It's 12dpiui. I have 2 more days. But as we all know, there should be something there by 13dpiui. That's tomorrow. I have 2 more store-bought tests and about 4 Dollar Tree tests.

Damn. It better work next month. 3/27 will be a very tough day for me (one year since losing our baby at 9 weeks) and I don't know how I'll make it through this year if I don't get pregnant and stay pregnant.

In Limbo

Not much to update. Took the dollar tree hpt this morning, still looked faint but could also be that dang imprint line. I think I'll break down and go buy a test tomorrow at the local drug store. I figure the digital might work by the afternoon (b/c tomorrow's 12dpiui and last year I got a BFP on digital at 12dpo).

We'll see I guess. Trigger should be out by now. Oh, I've been taking OPKs since yesterday and they got darker. I thought that's what happened last month too but BFN so we'll see. If something changes either way I'll post...

Testing Out Trigger...

Dollar Tree HPTs suck and are awesome. They suck b/c they have an imprint line so a faint positive and an imprint shadow look like the same thing. I have 3 digitals left. I will do one tomorrow if the dollar tree test looks darker than it does today. But, the digital 12dpt was negative last month so if the dollar tree test is decent, then I'll waste a digital tomorrow.

Way to rationalize your poas obsession Christa. Wow.

I cheated and took one on Thursday instead of waiting for Friday. Good thing though b/c it was a faint/dark positive so I can work off of that one. I have also discovered that an HPT taken at 12:30pm has the best result and that first morning pee sucks for me.

So, I will do my best to avoid pharmacies and drug stores over the next 24 hours b/c I really really really want to go buy some FRERs and CBEs. I trust them over Dollar Tree tests when it comes to early (obsessive) testing.

Tomorrow is 11dpiui. I figure the real results will start showing by then or Monday at the latest. I had a dream the other night that AF started. Damn...I'll keep all you blog stalkers posted.

*Also - I watched "All About Steve" last night with DH. Funniest/most creative term for coke? "Booger Sugar".

Holding Back The Urge

I'm waiting till Friday to test. I just have to keep telling myself that. One year, about to the day that I found out I was pregnant (2/20/09)...I must test on Friday. That way if the trigger is out, then Saturday (2/20/10) might be positive. If the trigger is not out till 12dpt (next monday the 22nd) then I must test it out...I figure that if I get a positive on a digital by next Monday, then I'm golden. DH is buying my 10 Dollar Tree hpts today or tomorrow. I wanted to buy them yesterday when I was in town but I resisted. Otherwise I would have used them by now. Silly, obsessed, poas-addict. Sigh.

Well, back to cleaning the house. Counting down the days....I am testing Friday a.m.....but knowing me I'll probably test in the a.m. and p.m. So maybe he should get me 20 tests....lol. OK not very funny.

Worst case scenario? I use them up by next Tuesday. But I have digitals left. A positive on 14dpt/13dpiui is legit. 50+ hcg at that point.

Countdown:
Wed 2/17/10 - 8dpt/7dpiui
Thu  2/18/10 - 9dpt/8dpiui
Fri   2/19/10 - 10dpt/9dpiui
Sat 2/20/10 - 11dpt/10dpiui
Sun 2/21/10 - 12dpt/11dpiui (trigger should be out by today)
Mon 2/22/10 - 13dpt/12dpiui (result should be final by this point, positive or negative)
Tue 2/23/10 - 14dpt/13dpiui (beta?)
Wed 2/24/10 - 15dpt/14dpiui (beta?)
Thu 2/25/10 - AF due/Beta?

Please let this cycle work.

Normal Sperm Count!!!

35 million post-wash. That was the answer from the doc about an hour ago. Are you kidding me!!!!????

IUI #1: 2 million post-wash, BFN
IUI #2: 2 million post-wash, BFN
IUI #3: 8 million post-wash, BFP (ectopic)
IUI #4: 15 million post-wash, BFN
IUI #5: 35 million post wash, ????

Nuts! Just absolute pandemonium in the exam room for us today (well, not really pandemonium, more high-fives and smiles really)...my doc's office wants 20+ million post-wash to consider it "normal". I believe this would be a situation where DH would be an overachevier.

Who knows folks? This might be the one? Dr. E (a sub b/c Dr. B was delivering babies) was very nice and quite positive so we felt really good when it was all done. I did tell DH though - "this room smells like sex" and laughed when I was getting dressed. He laughed. It didn't smell like anything but alcohol wipes but I thought it was funny.

2 follicles. 35 million sperm. Game on infertility.

Ultrasound results

2 follicles (I know - only 2???) on the right ovary. One is 28.3mm and the other is 17mm. I got triggered around 10:30am. The IUI (#5) is tomorrow around 3pm. I wish my doc did the IUIs 36 hrs after trigger but oh well. I do what my coverage allows. But the giant follicle indicates I may ovulate tomorrow anyhow...I took an OPK this morning and it was not positive so who knows? But I haven't had a follie this big in FOREVER!

Dr. B isn't available for the IUI tomorrow so I'll probably get another doc. I doubt and hope it's not Dr. M (the one I "fired" after the ectopic last November). Awkward!

Set Them Straight

Called Drs office this morning to reschedule my u/s b/c they're all idiots.
Conversation:

Me: I was just calling to find out why my u/s is on CD14 instead of CD13 per the usual appt day.
Nurse: It is on CD14.
Me: No...let's count off the days. Thursday January the 28th was CD1. Then we go Friday is CD2, Saturday is CD3, Sunday is CD4-
Nurse: -oh I see what happened, January 31st was overlooked. Gee it's so close to the 1st...
(at this point I was wondering how in the world anyone in this department is legally allowed to treat anyone, medically....or drive, walk, breathe, etc. Can no one read a calendar!?!?)
Me: Yeah, this isn't the first time it's happened.
Nurse: Okay so we'll set you up for Tuesday February 9th. 10:30 am okay?
Me: Yes thank you very much.

I'm surrounded by morons. I swear. If I wasn't paying attention to my cycles, days, etc, I can only imagine how much time and money I would have wasted in letting my dr's office screw things up. And should I wager that I'd still have to pay all the bills? Yes...I would. Jerks.

More Clomid - More Babies?

Dr. B finally doubled my dosage of Clomid. I typically get 1-2 follicles. I am praying for 4+ follicles at my next u/s appt. Am I nuts?

I took my first 2 pills last night. I am counting the days till I get to meet up with the di.ldo cam. I'll take multiples at this point - I am about to lose it.

Oh, did I mention that when I got pregnant last year in February, the date of conception was February 9th? Well for this cycle, the u/s will need to be on 2/9/10. The IUI would be on 2/10/10.

Way to mirror the most wonderful/tragic event in my life. The due date would be 11/4/10. Last year's due date was 11/2/09.

What if it works again? Do you think I'll be freaking out much by the nine week mark? Sigh...

Cycle # ? / IUI #5

I got my appts set up for my u/s and the IUI. Of course they screwed up and set up the u/s for CD 14. It needs to be on CD 13. So I'll go fix that on Monday. Idiots.

The good news is that the Doc finally upped my Clomid to 100mgs!!! We better have several follies in 2 weeks's time.

Game back on.

DH is doing fine. Whiny but fine.