Hi

I'm still here. Just trying to get through life. Our WTF appt is on June 1st. DH is adamant that we should do 2-3 more IUIs b/c 20% of them have worked. I'm ready for IVF but the closest clinic sucks (forced 1 embryo transfer; forced monitoring appts, all of them, at the clinic 1 1/2 hrs away).

I have to wait for AF #2 post d&c to start injectables again. We've decided to do a chromosomal analysis on the two of us to find out what the hell is going on and if they can find something. If there is something there, then IVF it is.

Anyone heard anything about Madison, WI IVF clinics? Chicago? Is Minneapolis the way to go?

2 month break. Yeah, we'll play it cool the first month, but we're going for broke on month #2 on our own.

Suppose I'll spend the next 6 weeks golfing, drinking, living.

D&C was worth it - painful recovery but one thousand times better having the D.emer.ol with it. Much less traumatic. DH was awesome - we're both sick of this shit though.

FOUR MISCARRIAGES.

Why???????!!!!!!!

Over

No more development. Had d&c. At home recovering with Demerol. I'm okay...

Its No Surprise

Ultrasound #2 today, well #3 if you count the disaster at the IVF clinic.

Still no fetal pole. 6w3d based on the IUI.

There should have been a fetal pole by now.

Scheduled another u/s for this Friday.

While the sac has grown as it should, the yolk sac is beginning to look abnormal and blood has gathered near the gestational sac.

If no progress (meaning a fetal pole and heartbeat) is made by this Friday, I'll miscarry. I'm not sure if I want a D&C or Cytotec again. Either way, I'm gettin some bangin' pain meds.

I'm going to go look up IVF clinics now b/c I hated the one we went to. Single embryo transfers only, must monitor there including blood tests, etc. Jerks.

6w4d/6w2d - 108th Post

I'm still here! Sorry if you were worried or concerned.

Saturday was DH's MBA graduation. It was hard to sit through all the undergrads and the speeches, but it was so worth cheering on DH when he got his degree (though it was empty b/c they sent him his degree via mail 5 months ago since he graduated in December).

DH, his parents and my parents went to Cedar Rapids to eat at Texas Roadhouse. I may have made a mistake in saying we'd go during the 6 week mark. I.Was.Sick. Nothing sounded good, the second I got too full, I needed to puke. Ridiculous. I could hardly enjoy our expensive dinner - I should have waited till the second trimester! Oh well I'm sure we'll go back then as well. :) I'm not complaining, I'm happy to have symptoms that don't include debilitating lower back pain. But the nausea - whew! It's out of control! I am holding back on the throwing up part but car rides are so difficult now. I'm thrilled to be back in the saddle. It's been over a year since I was 6 1/2 weeks pregnant but it feels like yesterday.

Any how, I somehow made it home Saturday night without throwing up.

Yesterday, we went to my aunt's house for my dad's side of the family's Mother's Day get together. We go there every year for breakfast and my aunt and uncle make food for everyone - waffles, omelets, you name it. I was able to pick at some food to get some down but normally I would have dominated the buffet. Oh well. Next year I'll be feeding Junior during that breakfast and I'll be lucky to eat at all! :)

Then we went to the mall so DH could get his mom a card. Yes - he waits till the day of EVERYTHING to buy cards. After that we went home, I cleaned up the kitchen and living room b/c they were really messy and DH mowed the lawn.
We went to his parents' house around 4 after watching Inglour.ious B.asterds. Pretty graphic but funny nonetheless. I ate a tiny bit of chicken, mashed potatoes and corn with some strawberries and a mini-carrot thrown in. I gave up all drinks with Asp.aratame so all they had besides gross country water was Strawberry pop. It was like syrup! Dang. Oh well, it's all for the baby!

So tomorrow is ultrasound #2. If I'm able to not throw up before then, it'll be quite the feat!  Last spring the first time I threw up was at 7w5d, but the baby was at 7w2d. So I figure I have at least a week right? Yeah I don't think so.

Oh, best part of yesterday? DH got me a mother's day card. I didn't want him to but he did and it was cheesy and he got me scratch lotto tickets. I didn't win anything but it was still sweet. And I got a foot rub. So, not a bad Mother's Day. Hopefully, it's my last one without a baby of my own!!!

6w1d/5w6d

So I figure this kid's measuring 5w6d. But based on LMP I'm 6w1d. I figure Fridays are good middle days so today, to compromise, I'm six weeks. :)

I'm way more relaxed now knowing that this isn't ectopic AGAIN. I couldn't have handled that. I just need to get through the next four days and then we should be able to see our little one again.

I am completly convinced it's a boy. I am probably wrong and I don't care what's between its legs, but in case I'm right, I'm throwing it out there.

I feel sick after eating more than a child's size meal, which my last 2 meals have been (not counting breakfast - oatmeal was a disaster that exploded in the microwave). Can't wait till I start puking. That was the best part of last spring's pregnancy. It felt so real then.

Thanks for all of your support - there are so many blogs I want to continue commenting on, but I'm so afraid of offending someone because I KNOW what it feels like - I still count myself as an infertile. I haven't even gotten to double digits in weeks yet so please don't think I'm off in la la pregnant land. I've been here 3 other times and had it ripped away from me. I'm still scared every time I look at the toilet paper/my undies. When I hear other pregnancy announcements, it still stings. Is that crazy? I guess I'll always be snarky about fertiles.

So if I'm not commmenting on your blog, it's not because I don't care - I'm following all of you every single day. I think about you all and hope tremendously for the best for all of you and it means so much that I'm in your prayers.

Ultrasound #1 - 6w0d

I can't believe I made it this far.

There is one, beautiful gestational sac in the uterus. One beautiful yolk sac right inside it. Because the IUI was on CD16 and not CD14, I'm more like 5w5d than 6w0d but that's fine and the u/s tech said that the gestational sac and yolk sac are looking perfect and she thinks that if I came in tomorrow we'd see a heartbeat.

We are going back next Tuesday at 4pm for a follow-up ultrasound (Ultrasound #2). Based on LMP I will be 6w5d but the baby should measure more like 6w3d, which is where it should be. The sac was about 5mm and to see a heartbeat it should be over 20mm.

The doctor said that all subsequent ultrasounds will be fine, every other week, but for insurance purposes, I'll have to call in with "spotting" or something in order to get in, and he'll approve all of them.

What if I really am spotting though? How will he know the difference? I'll just tell the kid to not cause any trouble so I can have my fake-emergency ultrasounds every 2 weeks till the first trimester is over. :) After the heartbeat u/s next tuesday, I'll be in for the 8 1/2 week one an the 10 1/2 week u/s. I'm sure he'll have me come in at the 12 week one for protocol, so I just need to sneak in 2 more for peace of mind.

I am still in shock that as of today, everything is normal.

What's next? An actual baby?

5w6d - 25.5 hours to go

So I woke up at midnight because my cockatiel (had him for 15 years, long story) was freaking out in his cage. I got up, took him out and went to the bathroom. Then I got this bad cramp, like AF cramps. I've been having them but this one lasted about 5 minutes, at least. I got worried. I went back to the bathroom (I put the bird back to bed at this point) and figured (sorry TMI) that I just had to go #2. No dice. The cramping went away after about 10 minutes and I had no spotting or anything. But it reaffirmed to me that I can't get too attached to this thing yet b/c if I lose this one, I'll really lose it.

Everything is either going to continue on track tomorrow or this thing will derail. I'm not ready for bad news. My in-laws and mom keep telling me that everything will be fine and that the u/s will go well and that I should be positive. They have no idea what we're going through. How can I possibly expect that all will be fine after three losses? I don't trust my own body anymore. I wipe and inspect toilet paper like a CSI. I look for every possible change in symptoms or lack thereof. They are hopeful, I am realistic.

I think I'm too attached this time though. Not necessarily to the baby even, but to my child. The one I should have had by now, the lifetime I should spend with my baby. It's the "life" we grieve when we lose a baby, the dream of what could have, should have been. I'm not ready to give up on that dream yet.

TV report:

(SPOILER ALERT)


*Glee was awesome last night - much better episode than last week.  I'm bummed about Jesse James (Jonathan Groff) breaking up with Rachel though. I hope he comes back - I love his voice and he's such a cutie even though he's g.ay. "Physical" was way too funny! Did Molly Shannon's guest appearance seem like a flash in the pan? They could have done so much more with her...

*American Idol. Hmmm. Looks like Crystal is not so modest anymore, constantly arguing with the judges now that they don't "love" her performances anymore. Lee will hopefully win - then things will work out best for both him and Crystal. I can't stand Casey or Mike and Aaron's cannon fodder. I wonder what next week's theme will be? Could it get much worse?

5w4d

Still here. All is good.

Just watching Tough Love Couples. Christina is crazy!

I'm scared about Thursday. What if the u/s is bad? Then this dream is over. I'm starting to think that I won't be able to handle it well.

I'll keep enjoying being pregnant for now.

62 hours until the ultrasound. Sigh.

5w3d

So I didn't even think, till five minutes ago, of entering my first and last betas to see the entire line of progression. This appears to be along the lines of "normal".


If I'm still pregnant tomorrow, I will have beaten Pregnancy #3 (ectopic) and I've already beaten pregnancy #1 (4w5d).  That 9w0d challenge is presenting itself. Game on.

Still feeling okay. I've had on and off cramping (lasting maybe a minute at the most) since the beginning and I had that with all three pregnancies/losses and I guess I'm supposed to cramp a little so that's fine. No spotting. Nausea if I'm sitting for a long time and I'm hungry. My boobs still hurt - I need to get better dress bras. The old, saggy sports bras aren't going to work at the office.

Still can't wait till Thursday at 9:00 am. Our lives are going to change, hopefully in a good way and not the bad, depressing, surgical way that we're fearing.

5w2d - Circling Pattern

You know how when a plane needs to land but has to circle around the airport while waiting for clearance? Yeah, that's how I feel these days.

Will there be a sac? Will something be in it? What if this is ectopic again? What if it's heterotopic?

What if it's normal?

What is normal?

So I sit here, waiting, trying to keep myself busy. Waiting for the other shoe to drop, like it always does.

Still taking Dollar Tree hpts b/c I'm a nutcase.

Trolling the internet to read other blogs, pregnancy sites, etc. Just trying to enjoy this while it lasts.

5w0d - Still Okay

Well, no betas left to do, I just keep peeing on dollar tree tests to see if the lines are getting darker. They are...
Boobs still hurt.
Lower back is still killing me - I swear something in my back is out of place (but I hate chiropractors and I'm deathly afraid that an adjustment will have a negative impact on the pregnancy). So I just deal with it.
I refuse to take Tylenol or any other medications. I took amoxicillin and Tylenol during my 2nd pregnancy and I will always wonder if that contributed to the loss even a little bit.

So I keep using the heating pad. It works.

DH and I have calmed down a lot since we got the good beta news yesterday. Now we're pretty much holding our breaths until next Thursday morning's ultrasound. Around 6 1/2 days left. Sigh.

Once we see a heartbeat here's what happens:

I will try to schedule ultrasounds for every 2 weeks (if not weekly!) because of our history and since it's our money we should be able to have them often till the 2nd trimester, when it should be monthly. But I'm the crazy RPL/Pregnant lady so this should not be a surprise to anyone.

We have not been to the Texas Roadhouse restaurant in Cedar Rapids since right before we got married. That was around October 2007. We promised each other after last spring's loss we would not eat there, separately even, until we got pregnant again and heard a heartbeat. So if everything is good next Thursday, we're going to Texas Roadhouse with his parents and maybe his sister and her husband (still not pregnant; am I terrible for smiling at that?).

DH will be allowed to attempt the 1 pound burger challenge at the restaurant in our neighborhood.

DH will be allowed to eat a Hardee's Monster.Burger.

Are you getting the theme of these events? In order to keep DH from eating and looking like SHAMU, I had to promise him these eating rewards when we got pregnant and reached different milestones.

These are the big three that he wants. So he's got a lot riding on the ultrasound. Lol.

I don't know what we'll do for 12 weeks, but at 9 weeks I want to do something for sure. It'll be Memorial Day weekend so I'm sure we'll think of something we've been holding back on .

IVF appointment - sucked.

Basically they seemed annoyed that I showed up pregnant. Like I timed it that way or something. So we talked to the nurse - an IVF nurse who speaks IF. Yeah, it's like doing IM-speak with a teenager. I was in my element. I rattled off everything and she was taken aback at how knowledgeable I am about all of this.

Same reaction from the Financial lady. We qualify for Iowarranty, the shared risk program. The RPL isn't in the exclusions so we're good to go there. Just about $20,000 for everything. So that sucks. Stupid insurance.

I then had an ultrasound. Apparently, my tubes look all wonky and there was a lot of "cellular" fluid behind my uterus and between the ovaries. They suspect a hydrosalpinx (fluid in the left tube) and that's why the doctor said that if I do have an ectopic, he wants the tube(s) removed b/c they'll just cause problems for IVF. They might have a higher chance at twisting during stims, causing problems for the ovaries, etc. That's why. Hydrosalpinxes (sp?) aren't allowed for the IVF program admission. That's what I was told.

Other than that, they couldn't do blood draws or the "mock transfer", or have DH give a sample to be frozen. They said to keep them posted and let them know what we want to do.

Right now? I don't want to do IVF b/c I'm pregnant. But if this one bombs, we're going there. The doc said more IUIs would increase our risk of an ectopic based on what he saw in the ultrasound.

So that's that. I'll keep you all posted. Hopefully things keep trucking right along. Thanks for all your support and comments - I don't have people to really vent to or share this experience with and you ladies are it for me and I love that. Because you get me, you get this, and you don't judge. So thank you.

Beta #4 update

I FINALLY got the call this morning about the results of Beta #4. It went up to 354 mIU in 48 hours. That's a 160% increase and doubling time of about 35 hours. The doctor's office thinks that this is normal and that I don't need anymore betas. I was basking in the glow of such wonderful results that I didn't argue. I figure that if I have more betas, I'll just obsess.

So I will need to wait 8 1/2 more days until the 6 week ultrasound to see if the little bugger is in there. The only thing we can think of to have caused such a slow in the betas is a possible lost twin. I have had no pain except low back but that's around my tailbone and not muscular. It feels like a disc slipped or something but a heating pad and stretching has helped. Otherwise my boobs still hurt, I feel nauseous a lot, and I'm tired all the time.

I will hold out that one small bit of doubt that I'm actually going to have a baby. I had one good beta jump last fall before the ectopic blew. But those numbers were around 131 on 19dpiui. My numbers are double that today and it's 19dpiui. So I'll take it.

I'm still pregnant and I'll enjoy it till it ends.

*Last year when we lost the baby at 9 weeks, I gave all the ultrasound pictures, baby books, baby socks, cards, etc to my DH. Anything related to babies, he shoved in the back of his closet, not to be seen till I was ready. Sunday night, before the bad beta on Monday, I went into his closet and found all that stuff and got it out. I looked at it all. I then set up the books and baby socks and Willow Tree box on my dresser. I got out the bella band and the doppler. It's all out. If we lose this one, we know that we'll do IVF. So for now, I plan on keeping it all out. But regardless of what happens, this pregnancy, more than the ectopic, has helped me heal so much from what happened last March.

*Also, today is 4w6d. My first loss ended at 4w5d. I beat that, so yay me! The next one, ectopic, ended at 5w3d. I just have to get past this Sunday and then the only loss I have to beat is 9w0d. After that, I'll set a new personal record and hopefully actually have this kid!

Thank you all for your support and well wishes. I'll post later on the IVF appointment/disaster and tell you what happened there.

Beta #3

I'm pretty devastated. Not bleeding - yet. Didn't even double in 3 days.

IVF appointment was a trainwreck. I got an u/s and they had four people trying to figure out what all the free fluid/blood was in my "cul-de-sac". You might want to google that.

So....beta #4 on wednesday. The IVF doctor wants both my tubes removed surgically, once this pregnancy tanks, so that I'll be allowed into the IVF program; they looked really bad on the u/s.

I'm going to go sulk now. They think this is ectopic or chemical but it's "too soon to tell". Whatever.

I won't cry yet.

15dpiui/4w2d-ish

All is well here so far. As long as I don't see any red/pink stuff today then I will have officially missed AF by the end of the day today. :) Took my last HPT (for now) this morning, in the dark, and with the little bit of daylight peeking through the blinds, I saw the 2 lines pop up together as the pee crossed the testing window. That made me feel so much better. Though I was fully awake at 6:45 am. On a SATURDAY. So I stayed up, watched tv. DH went into work for some stupid training thing at 8 so I sat on the couch till about 10. Then I went upstairs and watched "New Moon" for the 10th time and fell asleep. It was wonderful.

We told my folks last night. I figured the longer I kept it from Mom, the more angry she'd be when she found out later on down the road. I told them the betas were good so far and the progesterone was excellent, but not to get too pumped b/c the last 3 pregnancies were failures. Mom was beyond excited. It was nice to tell someone. We're going to tell DH's folks tonight b/c they keep asking if the "procedure" worked from a couple of weeks ago. Figure, why not tell them? No point in keeping it a secret from the folks now. They've been though our last 2 pregnancies, why start keeping it a secret now?

So that's that. Beta #3 is on Monday morning. I will post as soon as I can with the results!

Beta #2 Results

Okay - its at 70 mlU. That's a doubling time of 32.31 hours. It's normal and rising well! I was hoping for more than 100 but to get nearly tripled levels is wonderful!  At this rate, it should be over 200 mlU by Monday for Beta #3 at 17dpiui.  As for the progesterone, I have to give you the background on that before I tell you the level:

Pregnancy #1 - never got P4 numbers, chemical pregnancy
Pregnancy #2 - 24.5 at 12dpo, never rechecked, gradual spotting until miscarriage
Pregnancy #3 - 10.1 at 13dpiui, ectopic, had been on progesterone suppositories 2x/day at 50mgs each since 3dpui

Pregancy #4 - 72.7at 14dpiui!!!!! I've been on suppositories since 3dpiui and the doc said not to continue with them!!!! I'm almost more excited about that than the beta number! I have theorized since last year that the reason for our 9 week loss was b/c the progesterone levels were too low. Well with these awesome numbers, I KNOW there is a better chance for this one.

DH and I are telling our parents tomorrow (possibly even tonight) because if something happens, they are always there for us while I'm in the hospital or whatever and they've been so supportive with everything...

We'll see what happens, but for right now, I'm pregnant and it doesn't look doomed at this moment. I just want some triple digit numbers!!! Well, based on the doubling time, I'll be over 100 mlU by tomorrow night!

Waiting for Results of Beta #2

WTF? The first results were in by 8:45 am on Tuesday for Beta #1. Still waiting for Beta #2 results! I called Dr. B's office at 9:20 am today b/c I was worried (and impatient). The nurse told me the results were listed as "pending" on the lab's website. She said she'll call me if she "thinks about checking the labs" in the next couple of hours and that if I don't hear from her at 1pm, to call her then.

2 and a half years. 3 losses. 7 IUIs. 8 cycles of Clomid. One laparoscopic surgery (emergency). Four trips to the ER for miscarriages. Thousands of dollars for IF treatment. Probably hundreds of dollars on HPTs. Countless tears, sleepless nights, fights with my husband, looks of pity from family and friends.

I wish the nurses felt what I've gone through so that they would make my Beta a priority. But whatever. I will call and bug her at 1 if I haven't heard yet.

Still freaking out. The tests are getting darker - surprisingly the crappy Russian cheapies are showing the biggest changes. The FRERs are slowly getting darker but are pretty dark as it is. The Dollar Tree HPTs didn't get too dark for me last spring till I was about 5 weeks so that's fine. They're showing a progression as well. But the Russian cheapies, when lined up, show the trigger leaving my system and the legit hormone increases starting on Monday (10dpiui) and Tuesday (11dpiui). It is quite positive today (14dpiui).

It's so hard to be "pregnant" when I haven't even missed my period yet. Based on my past history, I get AF exactly 15 days after an IUI, 16 days after a trigger. So probably 14 days past ovulation. At least all these drugs fixed my luteal phase. So logically, based on how late the IUI was, AF would be due tomorrow. But it won't come. I have banished her. :)

So if anyone wants to share anything to keep me entertained/occupied/from tearing my hear out and biting my newly painted nails??? That would be great!

Even just how your day is going - embarrassing RE stories - stuff like that! Please?

13dpiui/4w0d

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! You lovely ladies are so wonderful and your support has helped me so much! Nobody IRL knows but our doctor's office, us (of course), and possibly one friend b/c DH let it slip on Tuesday that this cycle might have worked. I don't have anyone else to blab to all day about it like I want to so the fact that I know you're all out there rooting for me/us is amazing. You all have seen how my RPL can be a problem so I know that if things start to go downhill, you will still be there. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Truly.

So, on with the fun stuff, I guess:

Yep - I put up the baby ticker. I had to. Here's why: I have wanted to do that so badly since last spring's loss and after the fall's ectopic that I swore that the second I got a BFP and reasonable beta, I would do it. If this goes down the crapper, then fine. But at least I got to have those days/weeks with the ticker and the happiness it has brought me.  I just hope that positive thinking will have a positive result!

Also, based on LMP, I am 4 weeks today. But, based on the IUI being 13 days ago, I'm probably more like 3w6d. But I don't care. The doctor will tell me to base it off my LMP and should things change, I will adjust the ticker (and my mindset) accordingly.

Symptoms:
Boobs are still sore - not just the nips but those are plenty sore as well. Not so much at night but it's been that way for each pregnancy. I think it's the laying down part that helps. I just did a touch test. Yep. Ouch.
Pulling/cramping feelings - because I got to feel them for about a month last spring for my 9 week pregnancy, I can really tell the difference between AF cramps and these cramps. Though they are a bit similar.
Nausea - I had milk with dinner last night. I kept sipping on it well into the evening. By 9pm I was trying not to puke.
Smell - just like the other pregnancies, my sense of smell has not diminished. My unfinished breakfast burrito from the gas station (I know, what was I thinking?) that is now in the trash is not making my tummy happy.

I am still POAS-ing like a mad woman, looking for any sign that they're getting lighter. Not yet but they're slowly getting darker. I have to keep reminding myself that it's ONLY 13dpiui. Beta #2 is tomorrow. I will know the results about 24 hours from now. I'm trying desperately to be productive but I'm pretty sure that I'll be distracted all.day.long.

I will keep you all posted will all good and bad news. I won't disappear this time like I did last year. I need this blog. It's like my best friend. And this way, the people in my life won't be annoyed with my constant obsessing! :) Besides, who else would get what I'm saying, how I'm feeling, what I'm going though. I'm surrounded by fertiles!

Beta #1 results

.....drumroll...........



25!!!


Betas for the ectopic:
13dpiui: 10
15dpiui: 33
17dpui: 56
19dpiui: 131

My levels are already double that of last year's 13dpiui and this beta is a day earlier!
I don't think it's multiples with only a 25 but I'll take it.

I am pregnant. Holy shit. It worked. I think the IVF appt next week may be a little awkward. lol. I want my ultrasound!!!

*I don't think we're anywhere near over the hump yet and we are taking this one day at a time. We aren't assuming anything and we will forever expect or not be surprised by the worst.

I already love this baby. I want this baby. I do not want anything bad to happen. I will be more assertive with the doctors and demand progesterone level checks weekly if necessary.

Heck - we were ready to spend upwards of $15k for a kid. Might as well spend some of it on excess ultrasounds and blood draws right?

Pregnancy #4 - How Long Will This Last?

I was awake at 4am. I stayed in bed till 5:30 because I peed at 3am. Sad, but the only reason I stayed in bed was because I wanted more concentrated pee. All I could think about was if this is ectopic again or if we're having twins, how to tell our families, etc.

So I peed on an "Answer" at 5:35 am and took a quick shower (progesterone is gross so I shower at night and in the morning. My skin is so dry!!). And when I got out, the test was positive and getting a bit darker. DH and I had discussed doing a digital today and I told him that if we do one, I want him to be there for it but I wasn't waiting till he woke up to do it.

Thus I woke him up at 5:50 am and asked if he still wanted to do that together or have me do it on my own. We agreed I'd leave the pee cup in the bathroom and bring in the active test. So I did. I set it on his night stand and turned on the light. I kept saying that it's early and it may still be negative...

"PREGNANT"

Yep! Finally! He was pretty happy - he got over being woken up. Neither of us slept well anyways so it didn't really matter. I doubt we'll sleep much at all till we get to see an ultrasound or something.

For now, according to FRER, EPT, The Dollar Tree and those crappy Russian cheapies: I'm Pregnant!

Okay I have to get ready for work but I just wanted to share this and some pictures:

Please excuse the scary no-makeup face and my undone hair. I had to do a digital bfp shot. I ALWAYS have.

Beta #1 is in about an hour - I'll post as soon as I get the results!

HPT Pics - BFP!!!

Here is the Dollar Tree test I took at lunch today:

But here's the beaut - above is this morning's test. Below is what I took at 5:45 pm this evening:

If you can't see how dark the second one is - then I just don't know what to say. It's amazing!!!

I'll be taking a digital tomorrow. If it isn't positive (its my last one dangit!) then I'll know the number is under 50 mlu and that it's still early. But if not, I'm thinking multiples! It's so soon!!!!

I.am.way.too.excited.