Three Months Old

My baby is three months old. She started sleeping through the night on Christmas Even and then she got her 2 month shots and that screwed her up for a week or so. Otherwise she's a dream. I'm so lucky I can't begin to describe it. She is a perfect breastfeeder. I broke down a month or so ago and got the Medela Pump n Go. I had to. The other pump wasn't good, lets just say that. It was worth the expense, Medela really is the best.

I'll post some pictures for you soon. Thank you all for your support and interest in my life - we hope to have babies again someday but we are still infertile and know it. I haven't accepted that Claire is our only child forever but I keep that possiblity in the back of my mind. Also, I have terrible infertile guilt. All the time. About everything. Having a baby, spending every second with her that I can and never ever being upset about how difficult it is to go without sleep. I'm happy every minute I'm with her but feel terrible that my sister had a miscarriage (looks like it was a blighted ovum) and my sister-in-law and her husband have been trying for 2 years and can't get pregnant. At the same time I'm here for them as a survivor and have been able to provide some support.

I only can hope we somehow get pregnant naturally someday, by some miracle. My bad eggs, his minimal sperm. I guess we'll see. If Claire was the lone surviving embryo, maybe we can pull off another miracle?