Sunday, January 31, 2010

More Clomid - More Babies?

Dr. B finally doubled my dosage of Clomid. I typically get 1-2 follicles. I am praying for 4+ follicles at my next u/s appt. Am I nuts?

I took my first 2 pills last night. I am counting the days till I get to meet up with the di.ldo cam. I'll take multiples at this point - I am about to lose it.

Oh, did I mention that when I got pregnant last year in February, the date of conception was February 9th? Well for this cycle, the u/s will need to be on 2/9/10. The IUI would be on 2/10/10.

Way to mirror the most wonderful/tragic event in my life. The due date would be 11/4/10. Last year's due date was 11/2/09.

What if it works again? Do you think I'll be freaking out much by the nine week mark? Sigh...

Friday, January 29, 2010

Cycle # ? / IUI #5

I got my appts set up for my u/s and the IUI. Of course they screwed up and set up the u/s for CD 14. It needs to be on CD 13. So I'll go fix that on Monday. Idiots.

The good news is that the Doc finally upped my Clomid to 100mgs!!! We better have several follies in 2 weeks's time.

Game back on.

DH is doing fine. Whiny but fine.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Big Fat Failure

IUI #4 will go down in our history as a massive failure. How the heck does it take 12 frigging days to get the trigger out of my system!

I'm in DH's hospital room right now as he's sleeping after his ACL surgery. The anesthesia made him sick so they gave him anti-nausea meds that have made him super-drowsy.

AF arrived in full force while I was waiting for recovery to FINALLY CALL ME AFTER TWO HOURS...jerks. I started freaking b/c he was supposed to be out of recovery and 2 hours later they finally call to tell me they were keeping him longer b/c he was puking.

So cramping is major bad - took four Aleve. Suck it "directions on the bottle". I take four. It better work. I am in so much pain that I want to crawl into bed and sleep through CD1-CD3 b/c of the cramps. But I cant. I got maybe 3 hours of sleep last night. DH's been sleeping for basically the last seven hours and I'm about to pass out.

I called Dr. B's office to let them know I need my clomid refilled for this next cycle (who knows what cycle we're on - it's nearing thirty though) and I officially asked to increase it from 50mg b/c we need as many follicles as we can get for these last two IUIs that are covered under insurance.

I'm waiting for a call back from the nurse who said she'd talk to Dr. B about it. I'll take anything - even injectables! Give me a baby!!!

Monday, January 25, 2010

I Think I'm Out

Dollar tree was negative this morning. The EPT seemed to have a faint positive but i'll test again this afternoon because i'm crazy....then I'll test again tomorrow. If it's negative tomorrow then I'll know I'm out. Oh well - like I'd ever get lucky enough to actually get pregnant when I really need to.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Is It the Trigger???

11 days past trigger, 10dpiui. Faintest BFP but it's there on internet cheapie and a dollar tree test. I've tested every day since 7 days past trigger and they're all positive, just getting a little fainter each day (FRER positive yesterday mid-day). I'm nuts. Maybe it's real. Maybe it's still the trigger. If I get a BFN tomorrow then I'll know for sure. But if not then I'll start actually getting excited. Then I will wonder if its twins. Lol.  

I'd post pictures but if anyone reads this they've seen what I'm seeing. If I get a BFP on a digital - I will post it.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

I Am Pathetic

I lied about testing out the trigger starting this upcoming Friday. I started on Sunday. 5dpt. What the hell is wrong with me? I used a dollar tree test on Sunday, then yesterday (I took Monday off somehow) an internet cheapie. Still positive. Hmm. Okay so I took one today. It's identical to yesterday's positive. Today is 8dpt, 7dpiui.

I'm sick - because it's not lighter, I somehow have convinced myself that it'll stay positive past the 10dpt mark, then keep right on trucking to a positive digital test. Just like the ectopic in November but this time not ectopic.

I really really really want Dr. B to get me an u/s right away so that we can see a gestational sac in the uterus.

See what I'm doing to myself? There should be a special medication for TTC-ers in the 2ww.

Also - watched "Julie & Julia" last night with DH. It was great. I felt bad for "Julie" because "Julia" didn't like her blog; didn't think she was a serious cook or something. Well I googled the crap out of both of them and turns out "Julie" got a book deal (duh) and then she had an affair with someone at the publishing company and then wrote a book about that. I am no longer a "Julie" fan but I still am a big "Julia" fan.

If you're confused, please comment - it'd be nice to hear from someone.    Anyone.......

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Not Much to Say...

I'm freaking out about being laid off. I hear about upcoming openings at great companies but they won't be posted for a couple of weeks. I don't have much time left in the severance pay. I can't afford to only have unemployment unless we get our W2s in soon so we can get our refund. MIL told me the other day that we shouldn't get pregnant while I'm laid off. LOL. If she only knew. It'd be stupid to take a break now. I've thought of going the route of law enforcement - 3 months of the academy. Then what? Get pregnant and have kids? That's not going to work into anyone's schedule. I can't start a new career now - it's too late. Dammit.

I POAS this afternoon b/c I was bored and wanted to see a BFP, no matter how fake it was due to the trigger shot. I'm 5dpt and 4dpiui. Not a strong positive but not a light one either. Kind of in between. I'll take another one next Thursday (9dpt and 8dpiui) to start testing it out. Last time I did that it never turned negative but it was ectopic so we'll see.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

IUI #4 is Done

Was not as painful as the last few. My new doc, Dr. B, did the procedure. Count was the best yet! 15 million post wash!!! To think we started with barely 2 million with IUI #1 and #2. Unbeliveable. Dr. B thinks that the "shadow follicle" or whatever it was yesterday may actually be a real one. He said a different patient had the same thing and that's all it was, no other follicles for her and she got pregnant so maybe the 23mm (yeah not 22mm, 23mm) is our winner? He didn't see any polyps and thinks that whatever was on the u/s was a shadow. Good lord, enough shadows?

Well, I'll start the obsessive testing next Friday to test out the shot. Okay, maybe next Thursday. I have nothing better to do right?

In job news, I have a contact from Chicago who is going look for openings for me in the business. He may know some people who would hire me to work from home. That would be the BEST!

Now, I'm going to watch American Idol. Judge me all you want.

Moving Forward

I had my ultrasound yesterday to find out the sitch with the follies. I've got two on the left and one on the right. Only one on the left is 17+mm and one on the right is at like a 9mm or so. The other on the left was 22mm with a daughter cyst which altogether they're calling a shadow follicle or something. Altogether I was informed that the 22mm one is not real...or whatever. The nurse seems to think she knows what she's talking about but I asked questions that were secret tests (because I know everything of course) and she basically failed. But the 17mm follicle on the left seems to be the golden egg so I was triggered at 10:30 am yesterday. The IUI is today at 3pm. We reviewed DH's s/a from November 2009 and it showed over 60 million total motal count at 30 million +. Thus we are EXPECTING (cautiously optimistic) that his post-wash count today will be higher than ever for our IUIs. Not hard to beat 2 million (IUI #1 - cyst, no real follicle, idiots), 2 million (IUI #2, one follicle), 8-12 million (IUI #3 which resulted in an ectopic, two follicles). We have one good egg for IUI #4, pre-surgery and shit hitting the fan. No pressure right? Yeah....a lot of pressure. I've amassed a lot of pee tests. Let's do this thing. Activate the insemination!!!! Mwahahahahah.....

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Lazy Saturday

So I'm getting kind of amped for the IUI next week. But I'm not looking forward to the 10 or so days afterward where I'll be searching for a job, cleaning the house (including any and all closet spaces, etc) every day. At least it'll keep me busy. But it still is hard to wait.

One of the biggest companies in town will be posting 25-35 job openings in the next couple of weeks. Hopefully they're something I will like. Maybe they'll have even better IF coverage? IVF? least what we have now covers 90% of IUIs (up to 6 lifetime) and 100% diagnostics. Hard to complain.

I'm sure I'll be posting more since I'm at home for awhile. We'll see how long that lasts. I just want to be pregnant and stay pregnant. Broken record. I know...

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Great Year So Far....NOT

I am blogging from home because I got laid off yesterday. Yep. Big shock to me. I got a month's severance so that's 3 more paychecks, and then unemployment. super duper.

We're going ahead with IUI #4 next week, but DH's knee surgery at the end of the month and the lack of my job may make him fight about doing IUI #5 (if necessary) in February. I figure we do all three months b/c we have to take a break from April till about June...

Hopefully it works. Do people hire pregnant women?

I'm thinking about going back to school to get my master's or to be a teacher. I have no idea what to do.....

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Nut 'N Honey

When I think up titles for blog posts, I try to go for the first thing that comes to mind. Lo and behold, "Nut 'n Honey" popped up. Mainly because when DH asked what I was doing last week when I would be spending my time examining pee sticks, that was my response. Also, I liked the cereal. I wonder if they still make it? Hmmm...

Yeah all those HPTs were negative. I don't know what I saw earlier in the week but it was b.s.

I ordered a bunch of pee sticks on Eb.ay in Nov/Dec b/c I find that for $5 or less I can get multi-packs of FRERs, Answers, CBEs, etc. Well in November I amassed about a 1/2 dozen digitals. Thus, I'm sticking to them and Dollar Tree tests for the next few months. That should be fine.

AF showed up on New Year's Eve. I had two daquiris at dinner that night. Yum. Then I didn't drink all weekend. I find that I don't really like it anymore. The hangover/my behavior never seems to come out better than when I don't drink. Also, DH doesn't drink anymore (Urologist's orders) so what's the point huh? We sat on our new couches all weekend and watched TV and played Wii. It was nice.

I called Dr. B's office yesterday to set up my ultrasound and IUI for the January cycle (cycle ?, IUI #4). The nurse seemed confused but eventually figured it out. It's hard to discuss things like "ultrasound", "trigger", and "insemination" which is what she calls an IUI, at my desk with four co-workers 12 feet away. So we got it all set up. I've been on 50mg of Clo.mid again, this time from day 3-7 instead of 4-8 or however it was we did it in November. That worked but ended in an ectopic so we're trying (obviously) to avoid that. The u/s and possible trigger would be next Tuesday 1/12 (CD 13) at 9:30 am. The u/s lady will remember me and ask if I "emptied my bladder" like she always does. And I will respond, "twice emptied, I know the drill," like I always do. Ahh, routine. Also, the IUI will be the late afternoon the day after the Nov.arel instead of 24 hours later. That way the swimmers have a better chance of hitting the egg(s) than when they have to sit around for 12 hours waiting for one or more to release.

I was THISCLOSE to taking double pills (DH is also on Clo.mid) to increase my dosage to get more follicles but instead of being scared of getting in trouble, well maybe a little, I was scared of getting a cyst like back in July (didn't overdose, first clomid cycle screwed me up). So I didn't. But I'll be pushing Dr. B for a few things when I see him at the IUI:

1. Betas + Progesterone every time. Monitor P4 during pregnancy b/c it may have been the reason for miscarriage #2 at 9 weeks. Dr. M refused to cooperate with that request other than to give me suppositories AFTER the loss for future IUIs.

2. Increase meds to give us a better chance at success after DH has surgery on 1/28. We really only have Jan, Feb and Mar to try until his count most likely plummets in April. Yay.
Okay right now I can only think of 2 things but there are more. Believe me. I'm going to assert myself with this guy and b/c I trust him and he listens to me I think things will work out...

I Can't Control Everything | Desenvolvido por EMPORIUM DIGITAL