Update

Quickly, so you don't have to read on just yet: the appointment was perfect, everything I'd hoped for and they WILL do something.

Okay. If you're not satisfied with the Cliff's Notes version, here goes:

I got there 20 minutes early, checked in. The nervous chatter didn't impress the receptionist. I must remember to not act like a dork at the doctor's office. Or anywhere else. I guess it freaks people out.

Focus...okay so I waited for 20 minutes past my appointment time, which was really pissing me off by that point, but finally they called my name. A nurse (seriously, shorter than the doctor) led me to an exam room and started asking the basics. I pulled out my blood tests for work from 2007 and 2008, then gave her my thorough listing of medical information that is highly pertininent for infertility investigation. She asked what line of work I'm in. I told her insurance. She suggested I switch careers b/c I'd be really good there. I explained that when I get interested in something, I learn everything about it short of getting a degree.

Then the doctor came in and we got to work. She asked me the questions in very simple terms. Such as, "How long after you have a positive ovulation test do you get you period?" I said, "My luteal phase? As you can see in my chart, the average is 15.5 days." She was impressed and it sped things up nicely.

Her speculation? That I am in fact not ovulating and if I am it's all over the place. She suggested Clomid. What? Yeah. Freakin' Clomid. You should have seen my big smile. I told her that I don't think I'm PCOS based on the lack of symptoms, but she said that she wanted to do some tests. So this morning, CD 21, I had SIX VIALS OF BLOOD DRAWN at 7 o'clock in the morning.

First of all, not a big needle fan. Yes, I'm well aware that I need to get used to it but six vials on day one? Not too excited about that. I made it through though. I didn't cry and I didn't faint. That's good for me. The nurse had a crummy bedside manner though. That's for sure.

The doc also wants a semen analysis from DH. I can't even begin to explain the confusion over that one. No, we both understand what it is and how it should be done. But with our 30 minute commute to the medical center and the fact that he has to come up with a sample before 7:00 am on a weekday with zero lubrication, even saliva, he'll have a tough go of it. Oh, and no sex for 3 days prior.

I should have slept wonderfully last night since he wasn't bothering me to BD when I wasn't in the mood, but my brain was not planning on shutting off anytime soon so I maybe got 3 hours of sleep last night. That sucked.

Anyways....the doctor was great. Totally positive and even said, "We can do this, we'll get you pregnant." She's testing me for an insulin deficiency in case they have to put me on Metformin and she's also testing progesterone, prolactin, FSH levels, and some other stuff. Those are the ones I remember her mentioning.

I also asked if they do beta testing and was told that if I get a positive pregnancy test, then yes they will. So yay!!! We're on our way! I should get my results tomorrow or Wednesday, and DH's s/a results should be in no later than Friday.

Thus, we will have a complete plan by the end of this week. The doc figured that we'd start the Clomid next cycle and go for 3 cycles. I just need to get my period. For the first time in 15 months, I've looked forward to getting AF. That witch will actually be my friend. One time, only one time. :)

So the doc also said that 80% of couples on Clomid like us will have success in the first 3 months. Hell yeah!!! I got pregnant once, for 4w5d. If that can happen, imagine if we jumpstart my egg-makers!?! I just hope the tests reveal that Clomid is the answer.

Don't get me started on the multiples conversation DH and I had. He was saying he doesn't want twins, necessarily because they're expensive and time-consuming and he won't have a chance to be one-on-one with his first child. I guess that's important to him. He just came off as really arrogant and thankless for any child/children we get. He later explained that if we had more than one (please not three...too many!), he would obviously be thrilled and love them. Anyone facing down first time fatherhood with impending multiples will obviously panic. I would too, don't get me wrong. So 1% chance of triplets or more and 4-10% chance of twins. The doc said in 22 years, Clomid has produced triplets only twice for her patients. Those are pretty good odds, so...away we go!!!

I'll post the blood test results once they're in. Now I can go back to getting excited about being a mom, because I really feel like it'll happen now.

D-Day and Still Not O-Day

Only seven hours and 25 minutes until my appointment. I am freakin excited! Can excitement prevent ovulation? I even brought my last test with me to take it before the appointment today. Huge negative one last night. This is unreal. The latest I've gotten a positive result was CD17. Today is CD17. If I don't ovulate, we'll have wasted a whole month. Not like it matters, see without any CM (yeah, none yet and it would be normally drying up by now) or anything, my libido is shot. I basically asked DH to "make a donation" last night b/c I wasn't in the mood but we needed to BD. He got pretty offended and asked why I didn't want to just "hop on" and get it done. I just said forget it and we went to sleep. It's not fair to either of us to force it, right? And if I'm not even close to ovulating, and we'd done it the night before, it should be fine to skip a night.

7 hrs 23 min. Tick tock, right? I googled questions as to why I'd stop ovulating this month...I'm well aware that it is normal for women to have an anovulatory cycle once in a while. But if I didn't have that over the past year, then that's a b.s. theory. Also stress was mentioned. Well I was stressed during AF, but not after. I've been super excited, and that shouldn't transfer to stress, right? If so, that's also b.s.

Not sure what to think but I am speculating that after doing all the tests, the doc might just put me on Clomid. Neat! DH and I watched a show about a couple having sextuplets (Not Jon and Kate + 8, seen it, done with it). He was like, "No way, I could never handle that!". I said there is a slim chance but still a chance that if I go on meds that it could happen. He simply gave me a look. We've had discussions about what would happen with a multiple birth, how we would feel, etc. He prefers one child at a time he says. I have fraternal twin step-sisters and I can see how having twins would have complications, etc. But I want to be a mother, and he wants to be a father, and I'm sure that everything would work out for the best.

So I'm going to try to get through work which has been dang hard all week b/c I've been so pumped for TODAY!!!! Better than Christmas!!!! Whoo hoo!!!

I'll keep you posted. Pun totally intended. ;)

Get With The Program

So in honor of the theme of this blog, I will share my frustration with my OPKs not giving me a positive result in a timely manner. I am now at CD 15 with extremely negative ovulation tests. Nice huh? My average positive OPK cycle day is technically 15. Since I've gotten several positives on CD 16 and/or CD 17, I will be patient. But if I don't see anything in the next two days...I'll have to go buy more since I only have three left. That's really all I can do. What will pouting do, right?

Thus, I'll continue my testing regime and see what happens. I typically get home around 6:15 pm, grab the mail and run upstairs to test, and that's pretty exciting. It would still be okay for a positive tonight, tomorrow or Thursday. But here's the deal: my appointment is this Thursday. At 3:45 pm. Did I not mention that before now? It has been a bigger deal than Christmas or New Years'! I actually cared more about it than the Outback Bowl (Hawkeye fan here, look out)! Yes I have counted down the days since I made the appointment on December 2nd. I had 36 days to get more and more excited and now it's down to 2 days! (I'm mentally jumping up and down now).

Want to know how pathetic I am? See, since there was zero indication of a possible opk and I felt nauseous yesterday, I actually went online and searched if its possible to have AF (a seven day af to boot) and still be pregnant. Yeah, I know the answer. I have read every book and website about TTC. I have opk'd, bbt'd, ate healthy, drank water and tea, used pre-seed, checked my cp and cm, taken hundreds of hpts and timed bd-ing like never before. I have also prayed and smited God at the same time. I am considered normal by all accounts. DH seems to have all of the appropriate "kibbles and bits", if you know what I mean.

All we need are some tests to at least confirm that we are normal, OR, that there is a problem that is fixable. Either way, some medical intervention would be just lovely. It would also save me from losing it.

Another wonderful personality trait that will most likely be shared on this blog is my competitive nature. It's not only bizarre but most likely unhealthy. Here's a good one - DH and I had been trying about four or five months. I'd had my chemical pregnancy by then. My mom told me my brother's girlfriend was pregnant. It was an oops. Yeah. We couldn't even have an oops. I had a bit of a breakdown in front of my mom and DH that day. It was embarrassing to say the least. Why that reaction? Because I was supposed to be first. I'm the oldest (of five). I went to college, graduated. I have a great job. I got married. I have a house. See? The checklist is complete. I did everything I was supposed to as prerequisite to having a child. Let's just say my brother was on the opposite end of that spectrum. I now have a cute little nephew, and its painful to hold him but great at the same time. I'm slowly getting over it.

However, DH's younger and only sister mentioned over Thanksgiving that she and her DH might start TTC-ing as of summer 2009. He wants to start ASAP but she's only 22 (will be 23 in May) and says she's too young. This would be another sibling near the middle of the spectrum, much closer to DH and I than my brother, but still, in my opinion, not as close as she should be. Why do I feel this way? I think it might be because I hold myself to a higher standard than others. I just feel that having your sh*t together helps when actively TTC-ing. So that's how I feel and maybe I need to change, I don't know. But this stuff is just SOME of the crap in my head on a daily basis.

On the diet front, I had a cupcake yesterday. I made a bunch for Christmas (yes, almost 2 weeks ago) and they're getting stale. I should toss them but the sugar-addict in me screamed "NO!!! It's only the first day! You ate well all day, treat yourself!!!" So I did. And it didn't taste that great. And I should just throw them out. Oh well. P.S. I haven't weighed myself b/c 2 months ago I got weighed for a work thing and the number wasn't pretty (af was in town so hopefully that had a lot to do with it) so I figure I'll weigh myself when I'm ready. Right now I'm scared sh*tless b/c when I went on the wedding diet exactly 2 years ago today (we set the date on this date too), I topped out at about 205. I'm 5'10" people. I lost 45 lbs for that wedding and I looked dang hot. But I'm pretty sure I'm up 15-20 lbs since the wedding day and if it's more, then I'll just cry, most likely. So...I'll tell you when I have a Garfield/scale moment. ;)