Monday, January 31, 2011

11dp3dt - Here's One For The IF Books


First I have to gather myself after the conversation I had with the IVF clinic today. Wow.

I called to let them know what's been going on with the HPTs and all that and here's what I was told:

"It might be the PIO causing the positives though. You have been on PIO shots, right? Yeah they can cause false positives and that's why we prefer that patients don't test at home and instead wait for the beta. I mean, if they're positive then you're likely pregnant, but we don't want to risk it."

I asked for the beta to get moved up. That got shot down. What the hell?

I called my local doctor's office and asked to set up a beta for tomorrow and Thursday and I was told they won't do it without orders from the IVF clinic. I said I only had orders for this Thursday's beta and I was asked to fax that over.

Have any of you heard of this theory? Home pregnancy tests do not test for progesterone, only HCG. They are two completely different hormones! I'm not buying that crap but I guess I have no choice but to wait for Thursday's draw.

This sucks and kind of pisses me off. I've NEVER read anything, anywhere, about Progesterone In Oil supplementation causing false BFPs. Also, I was on progesterone suppositories after every IUI and I NEVER had a false positive.

This is unreal.

I won't post any pictures of HPTs today because I don't have my cell phone. Also, the test line is getting darker than the control line so what's the point? Also I've had AF-type cramping since Saturday, my nips hurt a lot and I pee all the time. I have heartburn once in a while and I'm starving all the time.

Could be PIO, fine. But don't tell me that it's causing my HPTs to be falsely positive. Puh-leeeze!

Sunday, January 30, 2011

10dp3dt - Just More HPT Pics

I'm probably going to beg for an added beta for this Tuesday (12dp3dt) to go with Thursday's beta.

Taken Saturday 1/29/11, 9dp3dt

Taken Sunday 1/30/11, 10dp3dt

You might not be able to see it, but the test lines are as dark as the control lines. I don't know why I continue to test...but I'm now out of FRERs and Answers and I have coupons, so I'll be going to the drug store later today. Before my nap. I'm exhausted.

Good lord am I eating for 3 now?

That would be pretty awesome.

Friday, January 28, 2011

8dp3dt - Blog Award #2!

I would again like to thank Bridget at The Lost Stork for this award, and it is only my second one since my blogging adventure began waaay back in 2008. I'm honored. 

This award acceptance is very similar to my first award but with a twist, read on:

1. Thank and link back to the person who gave you the award.  *Thanks again Bridget!!!
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Award 15 recently discovered great bloggers (this is the twist!).
4. Make sure you contact these bloggers to let them know about the award

Here are 7 more things about me:

1. I care about animals more than humans. I can't watch movies or TV where an animal is hurt or killed.
2. DH and I are college sweethearts. We met and fell in love when I was a sophomore and he was a freshman (December 2002).
3. People sometimes have a hard time believing I'm 28. I was asked what "grade" or "year" I was in school just last summer. Apparently I am aging well or I don't know how to carry myself as a grown woman.
4. I'm very bossy. I like things done my way on my terms. That makes it hard to get along with other people. Especially medical professionals. *snort*.
5. I didn't have many friends and was pretty much socially tortured in elementary school or junior high, except for a handful of wonderful girls who made it bearable. I'll always be grateful to them for accepting me for who I was back then. Its a long story.
6. I have many issues with FB and how much people share. Between my 25 year old brother and sister-in-law's mushy and inappropriate exchanges and my 14 year old cousin's oversharing, along with stupid pregnancy announcments and updates, I wish the whole thing could be shut down. But I like FB page stalking to see how people are doing without "friending" them. I'm terrible.
7.  I've gone through this horrible IF journey so far with few family or friends to make me feel supported or that I'm not alone and I'm so happy now to be a part of such a special community where support is never too far away. Besides, I get more satisfaction in following other women's stories and letting them know I'm here for them too, because we're all together in this, one way or another.

And without further ado (where did that saying come from by the way?), I would like to introduce 15 blogs that I've recently found and really enjoy following (without repeating those who've already received this award):

1. Infertile Follies
2. Viva la Vida
3. Banking On It
4. The Mensing Baby Adventure
5. Zero to Baby
6. Fearlessly Infertile
7. Beckie's Infertility Journey
8. Park Slope Purgatory
9. Project Baby
10. hope4joy
11. Wishing for the Gift of Life
12. The Chronicles of Violetta Margarita
13. Baby Talk
14. Life and Love with the Bradleys
15. .:. Carpe Diem .:.

Thanks again!


I'm not sure how many of you follow Jane at Infertile Follies or LisaB at The Pursuit of Pregnancy but they both had rough beta days yesterday. Please go show them some love because we've all had bad IF days and the support, at least to me, has helped a lot.


Whatever's going on inside my ute has continued so far. Here's proof with this morning's test with yesterday's tests. Also the $tree tests have begun to show positives. Finally, stupid cheap asshats.

This mornings shot of test progressions. I clearly have a testing problem.
If they didn't keep changing color I might stop. I could stop if I wanted to.
You can't have an intervention if you can't find me. Neener.

My package of ICs came in the mail yesterday so I peed on lots of stuff last night,
the picture above being Exhibit A.
So when I test every 12 hours, its with three different tests now instead of just two.
I'm obsessed! Do you think there's rehab for this? 

The PIO shots are getting better. The movement to the top of the Sharpie circles on my butt instead of the lower half is such a big improvement. So here's my tip ladies about to start PIOs: the higher up on the butt, the better. Apparently the fatty part of our asses doesn't like needles or oil.

Finally, I told DH I'd blog about this but I'd forgotten to do so till now. When I got my IV in and was waiting to go into the ER, he was standing next to my bed and holding my non-IV hand. He kept swinging it back and forth till it hit my boob. Then he did it again. I asked him if he was really trying to cop a feel before one of the biggest days of our lives, and he said, "um, yeah?".   I wasn't surprised. At least it distracted me from all the blood on my IV hand and the nervousness of the occasion.

He's not handling the "pelvic rest" rule right now. I'm not feeling sexy or intimate at all these days and the more I turn down his advances, the more he keeps doing sweet things to take care of me and our house. I feel like the worst wife ever! I'm getting there. The heparin injections are taking their toll on my belly though. I'm running out of room for needle spots and I'm supposed to "pinch an inch" before injecting and all I'm pinching is bruises! Its all worth it now though. I'm freakin' pregnant.

For now, at least. I'll probably if I'll ask to push up my beta till next Monday (11dp3dt or 14dpo) for a Tuesday draw, followed by the already scheduled Thursday draw. I don't know if I can keep peeing on sticks and not know what my betas are!

Thursday, January 27, 2011

7dp3dt - Want The BFP Scoop?

It is my rule to take a picture with a positive digital, so I did last night. As part of that rule I post it on my blog. I can't tell what kind of face I'm making but I remember still being in a bit of shock. 

I mean, come on, right? What the whaaaat?

6 days past a 3 day transfer and I'm getting positive digis?

Here's how this played out:

I started testing with FRERs at 4dp3dt. I wanted that trigger to be gone. GONE gone. Well that was at 9 days past the trigger and I saw such a faint line (see: turning 90 degrees at a time and tilting under bright lights) on that FRER on Monday that I figured it was still the trigger and hoped that by Tuesday (5dp3dt) the test would be completely negative. So I was using Dollar Tree tests and FRERs about every 12 hours since Monday night. And I want to say that Dollar Tree tests blow. I quit using those things. Sure I was seeing something, but if I'm getting positives on FRERs and Digitals, the dang cheapos should be pretty clearly postitive, right? Man!

Anyhow, Tuesday morning I tested in the AM (5dp3dt) with a Dollar Tree and it looked faint or negative so I quit caring and moved on with my day, totally bummed, convinced that this whole thing had failed.

THEN: I tested after work with a Dollar Tree test Tuesday night (5dp3dt). Now I would be posting pictures of all of these but my freakin' phone cam sucks so much that they're all blurry. Besides, I barely saw the second line that night myself. Also, and here's the kicker: I took a digital EPT that night and it said, "Not Pregnant". I was disappointed but not surprised. I mean, come on. BUT: that meant the trigger was definitely gone.

I was really confused because I was seeing a second line the evening of 5dp3dt. That's waaaay too soon, right? But I showed DH and he said he saw it, barely, and we both got a little excited. That was my major attitude adjustment that I'd mentioned in my Wednesday morning post.

I tested yesterday morning, the dawn of 6dp3dt. It was positive. There was no mistaken that light pink line. I woke DH up before his alarm and told him....I couldn't believe it! This was really happening! But I didn't want to blog about it because I was worried that I'd get a comment that it was too early and my happy bubble would burst. I just wanted to enjoy the day while I could, just in case it popped when I got home.

We went to the drug store last night to refill my Folgard 2.2 and I decided to pick up another box of FRERs (3 tests inside, not 2!) and a box of Answer tests, just for fun (2 in that box) and we went home, oblivious as to what was about to happen. I went upstairs and used a dollar tree test and an FRER. The DT was sucky. Waste of a dollar. The FRER? Best yet. That second line was much more pink than that morning's test.

Then I said, "Fuck it.", and went and grabbed the last digital I had of the two I'd been saving since the last pregnancy shit-storm from Spring 2010. It was a Clearblue Easy digital and those suckers are hard to get a BFP with, trust me.

I set it down with the hourglass flashing, taking pictures of the positive FRER (again, at 6dp3dt! What is going on?!?!?), when I saw it.


My hand flew to my mouth and I started crying. I couldn't believe it, but it had to be true. So I grabbed the FRER and the CBE and put them in my robe pocket and went downstairs where DH was doing some dishes (he has been so flippin' sweet these days I hope I reward him handsomely when I'm feeling less like a fat pincushion) and I stuck the FRER in his face, nicely, and asked if he saw "it". He said it was much darker and he could see it. Then I got out the CBE and showed him and he smiled and said something about it being great and I started crying again and asked for a hug. I didn't care if his hands were wet, we hugged and I cried and I told him that I was so happy. He laughed at me for crying but he knew I was emotional and hormonal. I also reminded him I felt so much pressure because all the money we spent was his retirement money, that this was our one shot for a long time. (By the way, for the rest of the night I clutched that CBE and kept checking it because I thought it would suddenly say NOT PREGNANT. Tell me nobody's thought this, please. I can't be that nuts.)

Then I went and took some more pictures and then, as you know, I blogged because I had to let you all know. But I want to say this: I have seen so many BFPs on blogs over the past 3 years that have been slaps in my face. It wasn't anything that the ladies said or did, but a reminder to me that I didn't have it. This is not an obligatory apology to anyone, but I have been on the other end of failure for so long that for one moment last night, it was amazing to be able to share some good news for once. Who knows how this will turn out?

It's my fifth pregnancy. I'm trying not to be superstitious or worrisome about it. I feel confident - for now - because of the following:

This is the earliest BFP I've ever gotten. By a long shot.
Dr. Simckes has me on Prednisone (to "fix" the probable NK cells that might have been killing other babies).
Dr. Simckes has me on Heparin (to "fix" the probable clotting disorder that I might have).
Dr. Simckes has me on PIO (to make sure that I get plenty of Progesterone in case I ever had an issue with that).
I'm on Folgard and Rx-strength prenatals.
I had fluid in my uterus 11 days before the transfer and he cleared it out.
I had a tiny dot of fluid again on retrieval day but they said the PIO would make it go away.
After being dumb and googling all the fluid info I could get, it was still gone by transfer day.
My lining was over 14 mm at ET and there was zero fluid.
Dr. Simckes would NEVER have proceeded if he thought the cycle would be threatened or a complete bust.
The embryo(s) are clearly in there now and putting off some serious HCG.
I don't feel like this will be a chemical because I've had one of those and it was the opposite of this.
I doubt this is ectopic.
Finally, we can only hope that we get a take-home baby (or two!) from this pregnancy because we now know how crappy my eggs are.
I feel confident today, and I hope the betas are reflective of my confidence.

In a freakin' week! I mean why not 11dp3dt?! Daaang! 14dp3dt sucks. But at least I can start obsessing over them later and enjoy the pregnancy now, for what it is.

I tested again this morning and the FRER is ever so slightly darker than last nights, but in 12 hours, its hard for it to increase that much. But comparing yesterday morning's test to this mornings test for DH was such a difference. Night and day how much darker that line is this morning. Freakin' nutz people. Its 7dp3dt and I'm pregnant.

*I got another blog award - this time from the lovely Bridget and I'm so sorry I haven't gotten a chance to acknowledge it yet, but I will for sure post about it later today or tomorrow! Also Bridget, your socks went out in the mail yesterday so I hope you get them today or tomorrow - good luck with your retrieval! 

**It's going to be tough keeping this from my Mom. She asks me every day how I'm doing, but when she knows I'm pregnant she gets all clingy and excited and talks about it all the dang time with assvice that I don't want. So I'm going to blissfully pretend we don't know anything yet and keep her at arms length till we get our beta result next Thursday. One more week of a secret. Sigh....

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

I Don't Know What To Title This Entry

And I really don't know what to say about this either....I'll spill more tomorrow but:


I'm going to go keep crying happy tears, staring at these tests, and celebrate with my husband.

We got some bebez up in here y'all. Pshhh.


Not much to talk about today. I can say I have had an attitude adjustment and am quite positive about this cycle.

Last night's PIO shot was so much better. DH moved up the circles on my butt (drawn by Nurse Jackie after the retrieval) so the injections wouldn't hurt so much. No tears, no screaming, nothing. Just total relaxation and I took it like a grown-up.

The heparin shots are causing quite a bit of bruising and I'm wondering if my belly looks worse now or when I was stimming? Also the red biohazard bin is getting full and I've been using a mason jar with a lid for my Heparin needles so we need to get those emptied out.

Last night DH and I went out to dinner at a local fancy restaurant. I guess the economy is hitting them hard because when we went there for our anniversary dinner in 2009 our meal cost nearly $100. Last night we paid $35.00 and that included a 22% tip! We got a full appetizer, two entrees (Prime Rib and garlic potatoes) and a dessert. I only took a picture of the cake because the presentation was so pretty. My camera phone blows by the way:

Anyways, all is well here and I'm excited to say that I am mailing some socks to Bridget today who is having her retrieval tomorrow. I'm sure they'll arrive before her transfer, but thanks for the socks shout out! Really, I just went on ebay and looked for "cute socks" under $2.00 and found tons from China and Hong Kong for less than a dollar a pair with free shipping, and I ordered them a couple of months before starting IVF because it sometimes takes 2-5 weeks for the socks to arrive from international shippers. Just a tip for the future if anyone wants to check those out.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

5dp3dt...Some News! And Then Less News...

I got my first blog award today!

It is such a much-needed pick-me-up during this 2ww. So thank you to Lisa from The Pursuit of Pregnancy for this award! Even better news, she and I are in the 2ww together and she got her BFP this week after her second IVF - I'm so happy for her!

I will proudly put this on the side bar of my blog...which is getting kind of kitchy so I really need to tidy it up.

The rules for accepting this award are:

1. Thank and link back to the person who awarded you the award. (Thanks again Lisa!)

2. Share 7 things about yourself.

3. Award 15 other bloggers.

4. Contact these bloggers and tell them about the award.

7 Things About Myself

1. I love zombie movies, can't get enough of them. However, other scary movies freak me the heck out.
2. I have a girl crush on Kristen Bell. Love me some Veronica Mars.
3. I wanted to be a sports reporter for ESPN until I got a reality check at my small-town private college.
4. My ten-year high school reunion is this year, if I get invited. The five-year reunion invite must've gotten lost in the mail back in '06. Jerks. Go class of 2001!
5. When I was a kid I'd dress up my cats (Smokey and Cappie) in my underwear and old baby clothes. Discuss amongst yourselves.
6. I've never ridden a horse without a stupid helmet. Dang insurance rules.
7. My glory years of high school athletics are over, but I was All-State, All-Conference and All-Area in varsity softball back in the "day". I was pretty much a bench-warmer in basketball though. If there was an All-anything for keeping it clean and warm for the starters, I would have done well.

15 of my favorite blogs!
(In no particular order, and I won't repeat any of my favorites I saw on Lisa's list because while I want to award you too, I want some other ladies to be honored as well, so I didn't forget about you!)

1. from IF to when
2. One Pink Line Short Of Sheer Bliss
3. LTF525
4. Hoping for our own Peanut
5. Maybe If You Just Relax
6. No Swimmers In The Tubes, No Bun In The Oven
7. A peek into our journey
8. semi-fertile
9. Life and Love in the Petri Dish
10. Making Me Mom
11. Crossing My Fingers But Not My Legs
12. Molto Maria
13. Infertile Follies
14. still a guest room...
15. Teresa's Pieces

I'm not one for speeches, but thanks. After blogging since '08, I feel more and more these days like I truly belong and it's been a long time thanks to this infertility/RPL crap.


DH and I went to the grocery store last night. I purchased two boxes of FRERs with 3 (not 2!) tests in each box. I then went to the Dollar Tree and found the HPTs there, stacked up on a shelf under the display where they are usually hanging. I then used my arm and wrapped it around the stack and swept all of them in my basket. I no longer care that people are staring, I want my dang cheapo tests. But they do stare, you know, Especially when you sweep a dozen into your basket.

Then we went home, where I went upstairs and proceeded to pee on stuff. Okay, into a cup. But still, my cats are doing it, why can't I? So I used the dollar tree test. Inconclusive. Might be a faint line (still from the trigger). So I decided that the Dollar Tree would be the "test" and the FRER would be the "control" because as we all know, the FRERs are far more reliable early in the game than the Dollar Tree tests due to the indentation lines on the crappos.

I saw a faaiiiiiiint second line on the FRER. I had to turn it 90 degrees at a time and put it under all my lights, but it was there. I didn't bother showing DH. No point. So I figure the trigger is out today and I should be seeing a second line by the end of the week or the weekend if this worked. But since I bought six FRERs, I get one for each day (or evening since my results in the a.m. are notoriously worse than the p.m. piss-fests).

So there you have it. The neurotic, obsessive behavior wouldn't stay hidden. Is anybody shocked? I'm still staying positive though!


Last night was PIO shot #9. It was the first one that drove me to an involuntary, "MOTHER FUCKER!!!" scream and then impulsive sobbing. With hiccups. Because it felt like DH found a dagger, kept it in a roaring fire for a few hours, and then jabbed it in my ass. It hurt sooo bad.

*please don't be scared if you are going to be doing PIOs soon. My case may be unique.

DH felt incredibly bad and put the heating pad over the spot and then rubbed in a circle around it which helped a bit. I felt like I should've at least gotten a lollipop or a sticker or something. Instead I got to take my prenatals and other plethora of pills for the evening. Glutton for punishment I am.

Here is our PIO routine. Am I doing something wrong? Icing beforehand went out the window when that hurt like a mofo.

1. Turn on heating pad and cover potential injection site, keep that way for 2-3 minutes.
2. In the meantime, DH draws up PIO shot and then hands it to me to put under heating pad to warm up.
3. I lay on my side either on the couch or on our bed with pillows between my legs and begin to relax my whole body.
4. DH takes syringe from me and holds it in his hand to keep warm, makes sure it isn't too hot.
5. I begin to stall, whine and threaten to harm his precious Jaso.n Whit.ten (Dallas Cowboys) jersey if he hurts me.
6. DH bribes me to take the shot, says it'll be worth it.
7. I continue to whine and stick out my bottom lip, asking if he can promise it won't hurt. He can't.
8. I suck it up, count down from 10 while still relaxing my body as much as I can, especially my butt.
9. I tell DH to do it whenever he's ready.
10. He says, "Okay here we go, 3...2...1...and in".

He pulls back to check for blood (hasn't found any yet), pushes in the PIO slowly while counting down from 20, then once it's in he counts to 5 and then pulls it out. I always bleed and he's finally started using the gauze that came with the needles and alcohol wipes. I put the heating pad back on and hold it against my but, usually whining or crying like a little baby because I'm so sore from front to back from injections. After 5 minutes I feel better and get up and go to bed.

But I can't figure out why it hurts so dang much!

I guess my whining stems from the fact that I'm hesitant to behave since if this didn't work then I went through it all for nothing but if I do get knocked up then I'll take these with a smile. I know I can't have it both ways. I'm just a brat I suppose. A brat with a bruised front and backside with a short fuse when it comes to constant pain.

I want a bebe plz. I'll stay bruized for a bebe.



I threw up in my mouth yesterday. I also didn't like the smell of my bread from lunch.
The cramping has been pretty constant, I had a strong one on the way to work this morning.

I peed 3 times last night, about every 2 hours, but I was exhausted and slept much better. So who knows.

Progesterone symptoms are consistent too: sore titties.

Just keeping track, you never know, right?

Monday, January 24, 2011


I'm at work. Not really working which is so stupid of me. I should be throwing myself into work because I've basically been gone for two weeks. Instead? Googling crap like 4dp3dt....assisted hatching...I've been trolling blogs of those who've been successful, stuff like that.

I avoided doing this so far in this 2WW because I was at home on the couch and just watched TV so I didn't do this crap. Stupid internet. I'll quit when I'm done with this blog post.

Symptoms today: mild cramping and it resonates into my groin area. Cramps typically go there when they're more painful and AF-related. Not sure what the cause is but I just want to document it. I'm tired and took a nap yesterday for about an hour, but I did not sleep last night at all. I was worried about coming back to work and my right butt cheek is beyond sore from PIO injections. The left side hardly hurts but I'm scared to only do them over there. I use a heating pad on it before and afterwards and that helps, but the right side is a lost cause, I swear.

I bled while doing my Heparin injection this morning - first bleed from that. The whole belly is so bruised I probably injected it into an existing bruise. Oh well.

I haven't POAS'ed yet, which is suprising for me. I didn't have any that weren't digital and I'm not wasting those on a trigger, and DH won't buy them for me so I'll have to make him stop at the drug store after work so I can stock up. I used an internet OPK this morning but it looked like a negative OPK so I don't know what to make of that.

As for obsessing, I'm doing quite well. At obsessing, that is. At least I'm not peeing on sticks like the crazy infertile that I am. I'll start doing that tonight. He he he.

Other symptoms: nipples are sore but that's from the PIO. Oh and I was pretty bitchy yesterday. I chalk it up to DH and I being around eachother practically all day every day for weeks with rare breaks. I guess I hit my tolerance wall yesterday. We're over it now, though I think he enjoyed giving me my shot last night.

I'll keep you all posted. Promise. Thanks again for all the positive thoughts and vibes!

Sunday, January 23, 2011

3dp3dt - Call From The Clinic

My phone sucks. None of my emails, my post or my comments went through. Grr.

Heparin shots are no walk in the park. Twice a day is a bit of a bitch. However, I have found Progesterone shots turn me into a 5 year old. I actually told DH last night he could do the shot if he could catch me. And I kind of hid. Some have been okay, some have been quite painful. I'm getting used to it as is DH. But he is so sweet and keeps saying he's sorry it hurts and that it'll be worth it.

Bed rest was nice, DH took good care of me. I just spent time looking at the picture of our embryos and staying positive. Yesterday my mom came over while DH went ice fishing with his folks, and we cleaned out our fridge and freezer, something that really needed to be done. I sat in our office chair eventually because I got some pinchy pain in my lower left side. I wasn't lifting or doing any straining, but I haven't been on my feet much so if I even felt tired or sore I sat down. Then I rolled around the kitchen. It was kind of funny.

Today is my last day relaxing before going back to work. DH is positive this has worked and has agreed that I should test out the trigger if it makes me happy. Looks like I need to stock up on HPTs.

As for symptoms - my boobs hurt but it's from the progesterone. I pee constantly but I'm keeping hydrated with G2 Gatorade so I don't know if that's it. But I peed 3-4 times last night. Nuts! I have had some cramping a little over the past couple days but nothing painful.

I'm so nervous for the next week to pass because right now I'm PUPO. I don't want to be proven otherwise.


I got a call from the clinic this morning. I missed it so I suppose the voicemail the embryologist left was sufficient because it wasn't good news. The other two embryos did continue to progress after the Day 3 transfer, but they did not reach the standard for freezing. However, because they did continue to progress and since they were lesser embryos than the ones transferred, the embryologist believes the two inside me should be fine. But sadly, we have no frozen embryos. No safety net.

At least we get our $500 freezing fee back. :(

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Playing Catch-Up

I have so much to write about but since I've spent the last 2 1/2 hours catching up on all the blogs I follow and commenting, I'll keep it condensed as possible.

Monday's retrieval was pretty smooth, in my opinion. I wore my retrieval socks. Could they be more perfect?:

I took those pictures in the hotel bathroom before we left for the retrieval. I couldn't help myself...

I also took a couple final belly pics because, again, I'm a masochist and a narcissist.

Ugh. So hot. Nastaaay.

I couldn't eat anything so we skipped that and I waddled to the car and we went to the clinic. They brought me back and after weighing me (+2 lbs), I got my id bracelet and then ran my right hand under warm/hot water for a few minutes to bring up the veins so they could put in my IV on my hand. Then I got to my bed, stripped down to my socks, put on a gown and then waited. Nurse Jackie came in and put in the IV (I'm a baby by the way and squeezed the crap out of DH's hand).

Then they walked me into the procedure room with a sheet behind me and by the time they had me get myself onto the bed/table thing, I'd forgotten about my IV altogether. They put my legs up on the stirrups which was surprisingly comfy and I just laid there, waiting to get started. The anesthesiologist put in the Versed right away and I felt sooooo relaxed. There was some conversation that I don't remember, I saw the syringe of Propo.fol being attached to my IV and I asked if that was the Propo.fol. She said yes, and I don't remember anything after that until I heard, "Christa, we're all done. You can wake up now." I was super groggy and saw DH walking towards me.

I know I asked how many eggs and he said 20, so I cried happy tears. He held my hand and sat next to me while I woke up some more. I just asked him about that so I could figure out how it went. He said I'd ask him the same question, cry with a weird face, and then fall back asleep. Seconds later I'd do it all again. He thought it was funny.

After about a 1/2 hour they took out my IV, I got dressed very slowly because my abdomen felt huge and I had some decent cramping, and then I was wheeled out to go back to the hotel.

When we got to the room, I laid down and bascially got right onto my blog to update you all. DH packed up the Traverse and set up the back seat for me to lay down on blankets to be comfy. It was so sweet and helped a lot! I'd taken a Vicodin when we got to the hotel and between that and the heating pad, I made it home pretty unscathed.

All in all, it went easier than all my other surgeries including D&Cs. Painful? Yes. Tolerable? Absolutely.

I had minimal spotting, barely anything to write home about. The abdominal pain continued through the next 2 days but the heating pad and Gatorade helped. The staff told me (yesterday) to drink G2 or Powerade Free instead of the full stuff because the low calorie kind also has lower carbs and helps with the bloating. I've been drinking the low calorie stuff since it came out so no worries there.

I spent Tuesday freaking out about the fert report...called and was told there was fertilization and the transfer was moved up to 7:30 am on Thursday. I slowly and carefully swept and mopped my floors because the cats have been peeing everywhere. I was pissed but the house needed a once-over cleaning so it felt good to get that done.

Wednesday I stayed home and felt a lot better. I did dishes, swept again and basically got our main floor cleaned up as best I could. It was so needed. I got the fert call from Dr. S around 9am and it helped having chores to do to cope with the news that my eggs suck balls.

Last night we left around 6:20 pm and the roads were unexpectedly poor. We didn't get photographed in Hannibal again but we did slide through the intersection AGAIN but during a yellow light only. No flash this time. And I had such a cool pose ready too!  We got to the hotel around 12:40 am since our Garmin decided to have us "arrive" about a mile short of the destination and we had to call for directions.

We did my shots, I took my pills, and went to bed around 1:40. Got up at 6am and decided the hotel was unacceptable. We'd stayed for free since I'd built up so many Hilton points, but it wasn't worth a second night. So DH packed up the car after taking 20 minutes to clean it off due to the foot of snow on it, and we left for the clinic. It took 40 minutes to get there when it should take 20. We also sat at a stoplight for SEVEN MINUTES. It wouldn't turn green but all the other lights kept changing as normal. I was panicking and was totally pissed. This wasn't the first intersection in the St. Louis area that's been a pain in the butt and not changed when it should.

We got to the clinic at 7:25 am this morning and was told they were running a little behind. So I sat, with a full bladder, for about 30 extra minutes. I already pee when I laugh (see: Lizzing) sometimes so I was so nervous I'd pee everywhere at some point. They brought me back and I stripped down to my socks and bra, I kept my necklace and rings on it like I did at the ER (I didn't mention that but I got to keep my necklace and rings on).

Do you like my socks? I took a picture afterwards in the car:


Eggs on Monday...chicks today!!!

Love 'em. So much.

Once I was neked-ish and had my gown on, the embryologist came in and gave us the report. Out of the four embryos we had yesterday, all were still growing. He gave me a picture of the two we were transferring today:

He said he'd done assisted hatching on them because it wouldn't hurt anything. I asked why we couldn't transfer three. He said because I'm 30. I said I'm 28. He said that his supervisor would freak out if he put three back into a 28 year old who had 2 remaining embryos still dividing. Fair enough. He said he felt really good about these two and that they're right where they should be for day 3. One at 8 cells, one at 9 cells.

He answered my questions about the eggs retrieved, what happened to them, etc. I felt much better. I will be asking for copies of all that paperwork for my records.

Then the nurse came back and said they were ready. I wrapped a sheet around myself and walked to the procedure room with DH behind me. I got up on that bed/table thing again and they propped up my legs on the comfy stirrups.

Now here's where it differed so much from the retrieval - I had to pee like a mother and I had a lot of abdominal pressure yet, so when they started pushing down with the external ultrasound wand, it didn't hurt but it was very hard to relax. Dr. S put in the speculum, which wasn't super comfortable. Then he started cleaning out the "interior" with saline and iodine. I think it was iodine. I don't like when my cervix is touched so that sucked. They kept telling me to relax, I kept trying.

Finally, it was time. The embryologist drew up our embryos into a catheter and the main catheter was set in the uterus where Dr. S wanted it. The embryologist came in and confirmed who I was and then had our babies in his hands. They agreed that the spot in the uterus was good and then they babies were put in the catheter. I saw the flash on the screen as they were each placed in my uterus. I had a couple tears slide down my cheeks and I had such a big smile. I was squeezing DH's hand and arm the whole time and right when they went to put in the embryos, I relaxed so much. I stayed relaxed because I would do anything for my babies and I knew this was the one time I had to suck it up and focus.

I laid there for a few minutes and then they had me walk (I shuffled) back to the bed and then I laid down for about 30 minutes. One of the nurses came in and we talked about what I should do over the next couple days and weeks, and what I should expect. She said if I get cramping and spotting in about a week, that it's a really good sign. She said with all the hormones I'm on, especially the progesterone and heparin, I will likely spot and I should stay calm.

The beta is on 2/3/11. And get this: our first ultrasound is included in the package! I had no idea!

I'm thinking that if we can get one done locally to ensure it's not ectopic and then go down for the heartbeat ultrasound in STL after that, it might work out better.

Just passing thoughts so I get them out. I know its premature but I'm a planner. Have you noticed?
We left the clinic and attempted to get here to our new hotel but the Missouri Bridge was shut down just as we were crossing it. We sat in standstill traffic for over an hour, and we were only a mile from the hotel. I put up my feet, leaned back, and just relaxed. I also took a picture or two of the traffic. It was ridiculous:

This was as condensed as I could keep it. I also wanted to get everything out while it was fresh in my mind.

I'm going to relax now and watch some Netflix on the laptop. I slept from 11am till 3:45 pm today I was so tired! We go home tomorrow and I'll definitely be relaxing in the car and continuing bed rest at home till Saturday mid-day. I figure 48 hours of rest is appropriate. I was told 24 but I'm an overachiever.

My Life Is Weird....I'm PUPO

Two embryos are chillin' like villans in my uterus this morning, 8B and 8B+ (thats how they grade them, cells, excellence) less than 20% fragmentation and A's are rarely handed out I'm told.

We have two more in a dish yet and if they make it to day 5 they'll freeze them.
Those ones are 5C+ and 6C+.

I was so touched by all of your well wishes, success stories and prayers. You kept me hopeful and I am eternally grateful!

I will do a full post about the ER and ET, then get pictures on here. Including one of our embryos. DH is convinced the 9B+ is a boy by the way. He says you can see the penis.

By the way, STL got slammed with snow last night, well today too. We're sitting in some nice gridlock right now. There are news cameras everywhere...this is a dusting to us iowans. :)

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

No News Was Not Good News

I'm too upset to post all the pictures from last week, from the retrieval, I'm just kind of numb and attempting not to cry. I bugged the clinic yesterday for a fert report but nobody had any answers other than, "Yes, some did fertilize." I just got off the phone with Dr. S.

We wanted answers from this IVF. But we wanted to eat our cake too. 20 eggs should have solved all our problems. Oodles of embies, tons to freeze, etc. Our dreams came true on Monday - or so we thought.

Only 7 mature eggs could be ICSI'd, the rest of the eggs were degenerating upon retrieval. Cracked eggs, he called them. "Inherent", he said.

I make shitty eggs.

DH has shitty sperm.

Apparently, it's a miracle that we even have four embryos right now sitting in a dish, growing as of this morning's check.

Dr. S said he's open to transferring three if that's all that's left tomorrow since freezing and thawing will likely kill the remining embryo, if there is even three. He said he figured with 20 eggs, we'd have at least 8 embryos to work with for tomorrow.

I used up my resources, DH's retirement fund, work time, money, practically abandoned my cats (and bird) for weeks, jabbed myself incessently....for this?

I know it's not over till we get to tomorrow. And if we transfer (though there was a spot of fluid in the uterus during the retrieval so if that's still there, then the transfer is cancelled and we likely kill any remaining embryos if we freeze them), then great. We wait till the beta. If its negative, then we start doing more hail mary IUIs until 2012.

I peed on an expired FRER after the call to cheer myself up by seeing 2 lines. Did it make me smile? No. It made things worse because I don't expect to see one of those in 10 days.

Fuck my life.

Monday, January 17, 2011

200th Post - Divide That By Ten And You Get

.....20 eggs!!!!!

I'm back at the hotel, trying to rest before we leave at noon to go back home. All went well, according to the nurses.

I'm sore, with cramps like a period, pain about 5/10 and drymouth that won't quit, but I'm not complaining.

I thought for sure we'd get 15 eggs but I told my mom on the phone Saturday night that I thought we'd get 20 based on my history of growing eggs quickly at the end of stimming during IUI cycles.

When DH told me 20 I cried - for the first time in months I cried. He thought I was sad or something because my crazy drugged up state made me apparently lose my facial control or something but I was so happy and I still am!!!!  Also I aparrently kept asking him the same questions over and over and he thought it was funny.

I'll post a thorough detailed account of the experience but for those of you who are having ERs soon - totally worth it, nothing to get freaked out about, and I'm a big pussy who hates pain and I feel like I did just fine. So I'll sit here and rest and think about all the babies we're making today!!!

Finally, the fert report call will come tomorrow morning. Before we left I asked about DH's post-wash count and it wasn't available but the embryologist said DH and I could go and that he had enough to ICSI.

I'm so happy - thanks to all of you for the support and good wishes....clearly they worked!!!!

Saturday, January 15, 2011

We Have Triggered, People

At 8:00:03 PM this evening (Central Standard Time), I injected myself with Ovidrel. Thus, we are in the final stretch of the IVF cycle. Next stop? 8:00 am retrieval on Monday the 17th. Less than 36 hours remain until we make some bebez. I did my last Follistim and Repronex this evening too and boy am I glad to be done with those. I don't want to scare anyone who's about to start stimming, but I'm just exhausted and my belly is not thrilled with me. It's swollen/bloated, bruised and overall I feel a whole lot of pressure between my hoochie coo and my boobies.

But with 15+ follicles growing I'm not surprised. We are so excited and I don't know if Ovidrel (HCG) causes happiness but I feel so optimistic and happy today.

Also I don't think I'll have the discipline to not test out the trigger....and subsequently start testing for a bfp.

Besides, I want to see those two lines just so I remember what it looks like. This is all so exciting!!!!!
Oh, and we're discussing transferring three embryos if we can. Just for the update.

I'll post tomorrow if I get a chance - the first non-shot day since Christmas morning, so I'll be a happy camper - but if I don't I'll let you all know about how the retrieval goes on Monday when I get a chance.


We did a lot of shopping, went on the Budweiser tour and ate at the Old Spaghetti Factory. I will post pictures ASAP too, I'm just trying to post now and make as many comments on other blogs as I can.

Thanks for the support ladies and I'm thinking of all of you and hoping your weekend is going great!

Friday, January 14, 2011

From FUBAR To Textbook

In STL. All is great!

It appears that Monday's fluid and low E2 problems have been straightened out!

Todays lining: 12.
Follicles: 15 or so with sizes between 10mm and 18mm.

Yesterday's Estradiol was 604.0 pg/ml with Progesterone at 0.6. They expect the Estradiol to be well over 1000 pg/ml by tomorrow morning but it is probably that high today. I have been getting my blood draws the day before so I'm always a little behind but really I'm on track.

So I'm triggering tomorrow night but we're waiting for the phone call from the clinic to tell me what time EXACTLY to do it.

We went over the procedure, what to expect, what to wear, when to stop eating, etc. We are so excited! Dr. S was really happy with my lining - he was singing while doing the ultrasound so that was funny.

We're just so happy for such a turnaround from Monday. I'm so bloated, but it's nothing I can't handle. I'm nervous for Monday's return home because a five hour car ride will be brutal but it'll be worth it to get into my own bed and have DH take care of me a little bit.

So we're going to enjoy some touristy things here in St. Louis and I'll be continuing my stimming with tomorrow being my last Lupron shot and my last Follistim and Repronex shots are tomorrow night too! I can't wait to have an injection-free Sunday!

Good luck to those having retrievals, getting transfers, injecting themselves or starting the stimming process this weekend. I wish for all of us to get through this well and get BFPs!!!!!

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Stimming Day 8 + More Pics For You

As of right now, I've been stimming for exactly 7 1/2 days. Once my needle session is done this evening, I will have stimmed for 8 days. Wow. It's been quite a ride so far. I was thinking yesterday, while reading some other ladies' blogs where they're just starting their cycles, how much I wish I could go back to that point but knowing what I know now. I never heard of fluid in the uterine cavity during IVF. I never thought of ordering more Follistim and Repronex in case my dosages were doubled. And strangely, this whole IVF excitement has reminded me of the build-up to my wedding day and the honeymoon. This is really weird, but I feel like we're doing that now, but in reverse. We're in the "honeymoon" of the IVF cycle and then the "wedding" is next week when we do the transfer. Is that strange? It's something we've looked forward to and planned for so long and it's finally here!  But we spent our honeymoon in Jamaica and I wish that's where we were during all of this. The drive back and forth from home and St. Louis is starting to get to us a little.

But, if you think of this as an IVF Rollercoaster, then here's a good one for you: you know how when you go on an amusement park ride and they take your picture when you're going over the big drop and when you're done with the ride, you can buy that picture of you looking like a fool? Well we're getting that exact same picture. When going through Hannibal on Tuesday night, the roads had been pretty slick but we'd had a nice section for a mile or two so DH was going about 55 mph in a 55 mph zone. Suddenly the speed limit dropped down to 45 so he took his foot off the gas to slow down and by the time he'd done that it was then 35 mph with a yellow light up ahead. On normal roads you can press the brake and slow down. Well we hit a sheet of ice covering the roadway and had to just let it slide to avoid losing control.   

Through a red light intersection.    

With a police camera.


When it flashed (which blinded us by the way so how safe is that?!), DH was itching his nipple (he told me this afterward) and I was making a weird face (I'm sure) and my hands were up in the air like, "what were we supposed to do, yo????"  The yellow light was like 2 seconds long and there was no way we could have stopped with that icy road. So we'll try to fight it when it shows up in the mail.

We get to a gas station up the road and go in and after going to the bathroom, I asked a worker there (and remember I was hopped up on fertility drugs and beyond tired) about "the flashy thing in Hannibal".  She goes, "It's called a camera." in a really bitchy tone. Oh whatever. I laughed and asked if it worked. She said she didn't know (didn't seem to care either) so I quit worrying about it and DH and I laughed. I said we should frame it when we get it with a cool roller coaster frame.

Good times.

But let me back up a little. The evening started with us driving about 40 minutes and we stopped at a McDonalds so I could go do my 7:00 pm shoot-up and get some dinner (I know it's not super-healthy, don't judge....) and DH went and got gas and a giant diet Mountain Dew (I can't get him to stop drinking that crap so whatever).

Here is how it went at McDonalds which thankfully had a single bathroom for me to work with:

Step One - after walking into McDs with a big cooler,
go into the bathroom and take an obnoxious picture.

Step Two - wipe off entire counter space with alcohol wipes
because you know it can't be sanitary there, then take
another obnoxious picture of yourself while stalling
because you know your belly can't take much more of this shit.

Step Three - Get out your meds and begin getting the needles ready, mix
your meds and prepare for some pain and bleeding; then take another
picture of all your stuff on the McDonalds bathroom counter because
honestly, when will this really happen again?  Also tell the knocker at the
door that the room is "Occupado!" and then giggle to yourself.

Step Four - Inject yourself with the contraband and then
remember that you wanted to show the internetz your med
cooler from the inside because you keep your stash cold
with two frozen water bottles in a ziplock bag and you
like to think of yourself as a little miss MacGuyver.

Step Five - Finally, take a picture of your swollen, bruised and
bleeding belly because you are both a masochist and a narcissist.

Are you thorougly grossed out yet? Sorry for the TMI.

For your viewing pleasure, monitoring appointment pictures:

Kitty socks!!!!

I feel like my ankles look swollen but they're not.
It was a weird angle with the cell phone camera.

DH said those were lucky socks so I should wear them to every appointment now. But I bought fun socks for each one including amazing socks for the retrieval and then another pair especially for the transfer! I dunno. I think I'll bring them with me now. You shouldn't be surprised that two former high school and college athletes are being superstitious...

Here's us waiting...DH looks tired.
It's a good picture though as we don't typically photograph well.
Okay I don't think I photograph well.
You know that book, "If You Give A Mouse A Cookie"?
How about this - If You Give An Infertile A Camera.....

...She Will Take Pictures Of Ultrasound Wands....or something like that.
I'm sure the publisher and editor of that book make some changes...
Also DH couldn't believe I took a picture of this. So I went even further:

My clothes. On the floor. With my undies tucked into the shorts inside my
jammie pants. I never let my panties out for people to see as they are my
discreet lady delicates. Well....they're Hanes comfort fit granny panties or whatever
that I boughtat Walmart like six years ago. But still.  I like to keep the mystery alive....

So that's it for pictures. We had fun talking to a different nurse who went over everything with us as we go forward. She clarified for DH that he can "relieve himself" tonight and tomorrow and then he must abstain until the retrieval. We all had a laugh at the "relieve himself" comment. And then he said he's afraid he'll be falling asleep while relieving himself at Monday's retrieval because it'll likely be 4am. Then the nurse laughed and said she got a visual of a guy doing that while falling asleep - but that DH just needs to get "it" in the cup. She was funny.

Otherwise, I've been completely doubled on meds now as I used to be on 200 IU Follistim a day and now I'm at 400 IU a day and while I was on 75 IU Repronex per day, now I'm at 150. I should have enough Repronex to last me but I ordered an extra box just in case. I have to go have my blood drawn (Estradiol and Progesterone) at noon because I sat and waited so long this morning before work at the lab and they never called my name - so instead of the both of us being super-late for work, I decided to go back at lunch to get it done. Bummer but the results should be in by 4pm today. Hopefully.

Long post, sorry, but I wanted to get those pictures uploaded. Not just for you lovely and so supportive ladies, but for myself to look back at someday. I'm glad I have this blog to do that because I was always terrible with diaries and cameras. Oh, and for symptoms, my belly hurts, inside and out. I'm super-bloated and the Doxycycline is making me pretty nauseous when I don't eat food with it. So lesson learned. Otherwise, no real headaches or anything like that. I wish Follistim was a sleep-aid on a regular basis because that stuff has given me the best sleep for the past week!

In closing...DH, his parents and I are going to STL tomorrow morning for the final monitoring appointment and then we'll be spending some fun time doing the tourist stuff (beer tour, seeing the Arch, and shopping!) until Sunday. His parents are fun to travel with and they've been the only real IRL people being so supportive of us through all of this and they will help with the driving. So yay! We'll be down there from Friday to Monday and we're planning on being home around Monday evening. The retrieval will be around 4:30 am so I'll go back to the hotel afterwards and rest till about noon and barring any severe pain or whatever, we'll drive back that day. I should be fine - I have some Vicodin left over from my last laparoscopy. Strangely though, I didn't have any Valium prescribed for the ER. I'm told I'll be given Propofol and Versed. Well that knocked me out at all my other procedures so I should be asleep. Hopefully......

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

I Might Be On TV

In 9 months or so... but first, an update:

Eggsellent appointment! Get it? Eggs... I'm terrible.

Rt ovary: 10, 10, 10, 11, 12, 12, 10, 11, 10
Lt ovary: 10, 11, 10, 10

Plus about five to six follicles under 10mm. Dr. S said we might get around 15 eggs! We'll see though. Even better news is, he was giving high fives for my 9.5 lining and NO fluid!

So as of now we're still on track for a Saturday trigger and Monday retrieval.

As for the TV thing, Dr. S said that he pushed doctors to test patients for AMH levels during the workups and he got some backlashfor it but I'm apparently a prime example of the AMH level being a predictor of the female's response to stimming, follicle production and growth in IVF. My 1.7 AMH predicted a slow response...which was correct. My Follistim is hoped to 200 IU in both morning and evening doses with the Repronex now doubled at 150 IU at night. That should do the job. I figure my Estradiol will be over 1,000 pg/ml tomorrow. So if I get pregnant after all the med increases, etc., Dr. S said he'd have me go on tv with him to show how AMH testing can predict IVF response.

What I'm wondering is, should I dress like professional poker players do, but instead of Full Tilt hats and shirts, I'll have a BlogHer shirt, some IF pins, RPL ribbons, Clearblue hpt logos, Google know, represent the infertiles?

I'll post more pics later with more info on how to shoot up fertility Meds in a McDonald's bathroom.

On the road again...

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Stimming Continues....Just Treading Water ***E2 Update

I've had the last 20+ hours to keep my attitude in check and push myself to be optimistic. It's not over yet.

I trolled all things Dr. Google and IVF boards regarding E2 levels after about 3 1/2 days of stimming and honestly, I think mine was pretty darn okay. I started at 5.0 pg/ml and in three 1/2 days it was 11x what I started with and the internetz say that it should be either 100+ pg/ml or 2x the day 3 level. Well I think I'm an overachiever then, so there.

After the lovely draining (where Dr. S "opened me up" with a metal speculum - fun - and then used a big syringe and a tube like a tomkat and went into the uterus and sucked out the fluid in there, then used water and flushed it out while guiding it all with Wandy. Let me tell you, I've been through much worse.) yesterday, I had some decent spotting that was all kinds of colors and did a doozy on my delicates. Dammit. So by today it's basically gone and I have to shove TP up there to find anything. So because I'm a rebel I'm afraid to scold my uterus to behave and produce a better lining because I'm sure it'll rebel too and then we're going to hell in a handbasket pretty damn fast.

I had my Estradiol drawn about an hour ago and figured out why Sunday's results weren't faxed - my lovely infertility department here put in the order with the fax number having eight digits. If you're paying attention, a fax number should only have SEVEN DIGITS. God-forbid the lab calls the IF department yesterday morning to clarify so the results sat. They're calling this morning to get the right fax number and will fax them before noon. Nuh uh, I don't buy it. I'll be calling Dr. B's office to get my results so I can call Nurse Jackie and she'll have them before the end of the day TODAY. I'm dealing with MORONS here people! (That last line was in the voice if Gilbert Gottfried, just for clarification).

So here are my goals for the next 24 hours:

1. Get my estradiol results and have them be over 100. I'm hoping more like 200 because it's been 48 hours since my last test and they should be steadily increasing with the Follistim bump-up.

2. Make it to St. Louis tonight without any incidents with the car vs. weather battle we're in for. We were planning on leaving super-early tomorrow morning for the 10am appointment but with this storm, we're thinking of driving there after work, getting in late but having plenty of sleep for the drive home tomorrow instead of being exhausted and likely cranky.

3. Have the ultrasound be a successful one with more than 12 follicles and a great lining with no fluid issues.

Three simple goals, right? Guess how much I can control? Not a damn thing. Well, unless I'm driving tonight then all I can do is my best. :)

Here are those pictures I promised:

Here are the socks I wore for my monitoring appt - they make a smily face when you put them together. I'm wearing a different pair for each appointment so I'll take pictures and post them. They're all brand-new socks I got on ebay (from China or something) for like a dollar each so I'm hoping they're somewhat of a good-luck charm! The socks for the retrival and transfer are adorable - I can't wait to show you!

Here's a picture I took while DH and I were waiting for the ultrasound:

And a picture of a wall hangy sign that we both loved because we're crazy cat people:

How about some freakin' awesome candles for a buck? Sold:

I found my dream baking dish for the lasagna
I love to make but mine always spills out and over the dish I have.
That will happen no more. Bam.

Also, we have black and white checkered flooring in the kitchen.
Um, how do I not buy this for ten dollars?

We bought two of these little thingies, one for us and one for DH's parents.
Each of my cats HAD to inspect this item. So I will show you pictures of them doing so:


Please ignore the bad nail polish - I'll take it off tonight, I promise.
I've apparently been too busy to spend 2 minutes scrubbing it off.


Milo - he kept nose-bumping it so by the time I took the picture he was
turning around for another go at it.

And this is a deviled egg platter (something I've wanted since college) 
made of all recycled materials.
Five bucks. Also sold:

We bought this sign for DH's parents, to give to them someday.
They're so helpful and supportive so I know it sounds awful that
we didn't get one for my parents, but that's a long story.
And my mother drives me nuts.

How cute is the "tire swing"? It's on a piece of rope. Bella tried to chew on it.
You can see her front paws at the top of the picture.
It was a difficult photo shoot because they all wanted to be models.

These are melty wax thingies I put in my melter (I try not to
use candles because the cats like flames. Idiots)

The Pineapple Upside Down Biscuits one smells amazing!
I'm saving the Summer Rain for a day when I clean the house,
because it reminds me of a summer rain. No lie.

And finally, for your viewing pleasure, Bella and Milo playing a game called,
"I'm Not Touching You...Rawr!"


I'm not touching you...


Thanks again for all your support too, it helped me to take some deep breaths, remember that its still early. And that while I'm trying to control everything, I cant.


I called the local office to get my result and make sure it was faxed to FP in St. Louis today. Yes and yes. And so that I can sleep tonight, I asked what the Estradiol level was from this morning. The result?

204.0 pg/ml!!!!!

I wish there was a calculator for this like a beta calculator because I'm ecstatic! From 58.0 pg/ml to 204.0 pg/ml in 48 hours!?!? That has to be great, right? I figure I'll be stimming longer than 9 days but oh well. I called to get my Follistim refilled and I'm waiting to hear back from Schrafts/Walgreens because they have to call my insurance company for an override and, in even better news, they can't ship from NJ because of the "massive storm" heading their way so they'll try to ship from Texas so I get the meds before Thursday night. Why? Because I'll run out by Thursday morning. Gotta love cutting it close.

Okay...onto the ultrasound tomorrow morning. I'm crossing my fingers extra tight for no fluid and plenty of follicles!!!!!


I Can't Control Everything | Desenvolvido por EMPORIUM DIGITAL