Its Been 5 Years. Wow.

If anyone's still out there, or catches this, I'm still here.


For what it's worth, I'm now 36 years old. I'm still a mom. Things, lets just say, have changed a bit.


2014 - Spent the year figuring out what to do about my imploded marriage, tried to save it near the end of the year after I kept being told how much he loved me and would never hurt me or the kids again.


2015 - Two days into the new year, I met his new mistress he'd been sleeping with for the past year as he set us up on some kind of sick playdate with our kids. Her 3 year old daughter gave them up and he walked out that night for good. I filed for divorce four days later. In those 4 days: my husband left us, I changed the locks, started a brand new job, got an attorney and quickly went after divorce and custody of the kids. It was hell, basically. I spent the year in a nasty divorce battle with a man who was never committed to recovery and started his new "family" unit with his mistress immediately. He never put our kids first and hasn't since. I was awarded primary custody but we share legal custody. He doesn't get additional visitation until he completes a therapy program (as of 2018 he's made no effort or progress; he recently married his mistress). I went through my own therapy and made a new friend whose wife left him in a similar fashion and we helped each other survive the year from hell. He and I became more than best friends and we ended up falling in love. But we dated away from our kids as we always put them first. To put it simply: he's incredible.


2016 - Divorces were finalized for both of us, our kids were introduced and we ended up moving in together in his small town just south of where I had lived. Everyone was happy. He had two daughters who were close in age to mine. His youngest was a month older than Grace and his oldest was a year older than Claire.


2017 - We relocated later in the year, I got a new job, we bought a house and we got engaged. All in all, it was a good year. (Save for high-conflict ex-spouses constantly creating as many issues as possible, but we were stronger than it all)


2018 - We got married in June (it was beautiful) and we decided we wanted to try for a baby. We figured it was a long shot with my history alone and my age. He, on the other hand, is super fertile from what we could tell, so we planned to try for a year and then hang it up. I'd gotten an IUD in 2015 (which I HATED by the way) so that came out in July, I got a prescription for Femara (Letrozole), took some Melatonin for improved egg quality, used OPK's to see what was up with me, tried and what do you know - I got pregnant. Still am, and due around the end of April 2019. What? I know. Crazy.


Like I said. Things have changed. :)


Claire is now 7 and in First Grade. She's whip smart and so much like me. Grace is 5 and is in Pre-K; she's the pistol I predicted she'd be from the day she was born. I got to keep the cats, yes they're still alive. We have a dog now too, a rescue pup. I also have two wonderful step-daughters, ages 5 and almost 8. All the girls are thrilled about the new baby and we find out what it is in a couple of weeks. So far, its looked healthy and I feel plenty of movement (I bought a new Doppler, of course).


I do miss blogging, and the community. Its been a long 5 years and seems so much longer. Thank you to everyone who supported me through my journey; I've never forgotten you and think of you often.