Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Moving Forward

I thought the template for this blog was a bit dark, with the black background, etc. So I changed it today to this new peaceful, beachy template. It gives me hope, and I feel better about most things these days.

I kind of had a brain fart on the opks over the weekend. Yes, we're taking one more natural/at-home shot at this before Clomid/IUI#1 next cycle. The opks I got online, like all the others, are smaller, skinnier, etc. So I misread a negative for a positive. Good thing I took one each day b/c Saturday's got really, really dark in the afternoon. So we tried on Sunday too. Unfortunately there was only one Preseed applicator left and we used it on Friday. I figure it'll help DH's already struggling little guys...it worked for the one time I got pregnant...so maybe our 2 big efforts over the weekend worked. I doubt it, but I'll probably get all excited once my cycle heads past the 28 day mark like it has for the past few months. 28-days till November. Then it was 32 days. Then 26 days in December. Then 32 days again in January. What the deuce, right?

I just keep ovulating later and my LP is so screwy now. Glad I'm going on the Clomid. Hopefully if the red headed sl*t comes around, she's here around the 20th or 21st instead of the 22nd or 23rd. Only because the IUI would fall on a Monday or Tuesday and I don't have those days off. I hate the thought of using a sick day on it and I'd rather go home and relax all day to allow the swimmers to do their jobs.

I am taking a work test on March 11th though so I could use the day to study at home, etc. Whew! I'm quite the planner huh? This kid will have to get used to it, even though he/she hasn't exactly followed our "plan" for the past 16 months.

So I came up with a great idea for telling DH that I'm knocked up. See, he's not drinking anymore. Yeah. No booze. You don't understand how big of a sacrifice this is for him. He had a sip of his dad's beer last Saturday and looked like a 16 year old when I looked at him. It was funny.

But my idea is as follows, though not in concrete yet: I get him a six pack of his favorite beer and wrap it. Then I include the BFP test and present it to him accordingly. The BFP can't be faint either. It's gotta be pretty obvious. Then I can have a fresh digital one waiting for him to make me prove it. Since I lost our only pregnancy a day and a half after that BFP, he may make me continue to pee on sticks till the ultrasound. I don't mind. I'll enjoy every single positive test I take and cherish it. I'd kiss each one but we all know that there will be pee on it so...if I do I'll keep it to myself. :)

Ironically though, it'll be a year to the day on March 19th when I miscarried. This year I will hopefully get my BFP within a week of that anniversary. My next AF would be due around March 20th -23rd. So I shuld know by then. What a great way to get through such a difficult time.


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