Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Life Feels Like A Bunch Of Constant "Countdowns" These Days

2 days. 21 hours. 58 minutes. That's how long (right now) I have to wait till our first ultrasound. I've passed Milestone #1 and on Saturday will have reached Milestone #2. Its all I can seem to think about. We're basically convinced we're having twins - way to put the big fat cart in front of the horse, right? See, we can't see us affording IVF again after even one baby, so I guess selfishly we're hoping for twins so we can complete our family. I can't possibly be the only infertile whose thought this way though, right?

I have to let you all know that I stumbled across this blog today: I Want To Be A Daddy, written by Alec. He recently started the blog and is taking us through their journey one step at a time and I find his writing so helpful as it gives the husband's perspective of an infertile life with losses and heartbreak. I highly recommend you take a look!


In other news, I received my prize from LisaB's giveaway she had on her blog The Pursuit of Pregnancy!


As soon as I saw the package in my mailbox I knew that was it so I tore it open and spent the rest of the night pouring over it - lots of info, for sure. I even showed DH some pictures and while he was pretty grossed out, this whole IF experience has made the female reproductive system much less of an "ick-factor" for him to look at. Thanks for the book, Lisa!

In work news, I've been working on trial prep for case and it's gotten pretty intense. Basically we hate the opposing attorney and she's making everything we do a hassle and a headache. I can't wait till the judge hears about it and throws the book at her. Small-town Iowa, you'd think that we wouldn't have to deal with the schenanigans of big-city lawyers, but apparently we do.

Overall I'm just trying to make it through each day, worried all the time that something bad will happen. Will we have a sudden miscarriage like pregnancy #2? A blighted ovum (or two?) like pregnancy #4? DH wants me to switch to suppositories because he hates giving me the shots (it takes me a 1/2 hour to get myself psyched up for the PIO every night, it's sad) and said he will be begging Dr. S to have me switch over to suppositories as soon as possible.

I don't feel comfortable quitting the shots that early though because I feel like its working and it cancels out a possible progesterone issue if I'm getting so much now. My levels haven't even been tested and I don't want to worry about anything happening if I go off them too soon. Dr. S will give us his advice and I trust him. But I'm scared not to do PIO till at least 8 weeks. Can anyone give me some advice?

Finally I want to send a shout out to all you supporters out there leaving me comments, thoughts and overall encouragement. It makes me feel really good to know there are people out there rooting for us. So thank you again! Soon I will be able to blog about things other than pregnancy, I'm just on edge because of four prior losses. I'm sure you can understand and sadly, some of you can relate.

16 comments:

Do I Have to Be a D.I.N.K.? said...

I totally think you are having twins! Glad you are reaching your milestones...I feel the exact same way. One day at a time!

Lori B. said...

Hey I don't know if I've commented before or not but I found your blog through Erin's at Hoping for our own Peanut. First of all, Congratulations on the pregnancy!!! I just wanted to say that we are about to start our one and only IVF cycle because we simply can only afford one. My hubby and I have both expressed a desire to have twins since this is our only shot at IVF. So that is a totally normal feeling I think. Also, its neat to see someone on here from Iowa. I was born and raised in Central Iowa and have since moved but I go back to visit family all of the time. Hoping this is the time for both of us Iowa girls!!!

Adam and Julia said...

We were in the same boat. We could not afford another cycle and were hoping for twins. My husband "knew" they were twins. When we went to the doctor that day it was because I was spotting. I was scared and totally forgot the anxiety. Turns out, we had a vanishing triplet and two healthy babies. We did PIO until week 10-11. I weened off that to insert and them off completely. I did not want anything to happen, and it made me feel better that I was doing all I could to help out babies. We are now 23 weeks pregnant and couldn't be happier. Good things come to those who wait...or beg.....or plead.....or cry a lot!!! I am thinking you are having twins too. If you have any questions or need to talk, please email me. kozmo1229@yahoo.com. Good Luck!

Autumn said...

I don't think I've said CONGRATS!! Re: progesterone, my RE is putting me on crinone cream after our transfer in a few weeks-- it's different from the little suppository caplets. It's a cream that comes with a special applicator (kind of like yeast infection medicine from the looks of it) that you squirt into your hoo-ha. There are some new studies that show it's as effective as the PIO injections for an IVF cycle. I'm very thankful I won't have to endure those. Might ask your doc about that as an option once you've used up your PIO supply.

Bridget said...

We are hoping for twins too- I think all infertiles do. I am so tired of the PIO shots but I'm scared to ask if I can switch to suppositories too- let me know what your Doc says since I have U of I right now.

Alec said...

Dear Christa,

Thank you for pointing out a fledgling blog. I truly appreciate it! I pointed out your journey from I Want to be a Daddy and will continue to track your progress.

Good luck!
Alec

Still A Guest Room said...

Good luck on your ultrasound...I just know it's going to go well! As for suppositories, I've been on them since the transfer (Endometrin) and my progesterone level has been no lower than 30 at any test, which is more than enough at this point.

Jen said...

I'm with you all on the twins thing. Seems like an insane thing to wish for, but I can't help it.

Cady said...

I never used suppositories. I used PIO through 12 weeks. I was WAY too nervous to switch from the shots to suppositories. I didn't want low progesterone to cause my to lose my pregnancy.

Hoping for our own Peanut said...

Im hoping for twins for you too!! I did only PIO with my IVF cycle. My first FET, I did only suppositories. This second FET, I requested to do PIO also, so I am doing both. PIO makes me feel better..I hate how all the suppository stuff falls out..

Im sure either way, youll be just fine!

ericadouglas said...

Dr S also knocked me up! Welcome to the club - it's a pretty great one, I have to say. :)

I did daily progesterone shots til 10 weeks and then slowly weaned down - every other day for four shots and then every three days for three shots.

I had my last shot four months ago and (I hate to tell you this) but I still have owie places from all the needles! If I lean a certain way against a wall or table, I definitely feel the old shot spots.

Seriously, though, it's totally worth it. Even if I'm 80 years old and telling people how I got shots in my gluteus maximus, it's absolutely worth it. It's also worth every penny I spent on Follistim!

Congrats again. I'm so excited to read about another pregnancy from the amazing Dr S!

Crossing My Fingers said...

Twins-woohoo!

Anonymous said...

Another NE iowan here and also another patient of Dr. Simckes. (not yet preggo, need an embryo donor) but I am so glad to here your good news! As far as the PIO shots I did them myself in my legs. Hubby can't stand needles and I would rather do it myself. Have a great trip this weekend.

Mr. Thompson and Me said...

Rah-Rah-Rah. I'll always be here cheering you on.

I'm with you on the twin thing. Same exact reason. After failed IVF cycles in the past (plus 7 IUIs)...this is it for us.

No whammies - No whammies!

MyTwoLines said...

Wow you're getting even closer to the u/s by now--I hope the rest of the wait goes by quick and you get great news tomorrow!

LisaB said...

Yayy, I'm glad you like the book! :) Thanks for the shout-out! I am keeping you in my prayers that everything turns out PERFECTLY for you! You so deserve it!

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