Monday, November 22, 2010

Hellooooooo

I'll make it short and sweet for ya'll this Monday of Thanksgiving week:

- the Idina Menzel concert was incredible; worth every penny, mile of driving from eastern Iowa to the Twin Cities and back; loss of sleep, etc. I'd love to see her in concert again but it probably won't happen any time soon.

- still on birth control. Just got a big zit so far but it was probably due to my diet or AF. Also I find myself feeling mean. Is this normal?

- back at work today. Not wanting to be here. I have a big event I've been working on for a local holiday festival that is this evening in my building (I was on today's event committee). Until today, I was excited. Now? I just want to go home, get in my sweats, curl up with my kitties and DVR and ignore everyone and everything.

- my IVF clinic had 100% success rate for October. That's correct. Every single patient got a BFP. We can't know if any of those positives turned negative for federal law reasons, but still. Implantation for each one? Amazing!

- Dr. S has decided that since I'll be on birth control for 41 days (the maximum), he'll be doubling my Follistim when I start stims on January 6th. 2x/day. Lovely.

- and finally, while this might sound ridiculous and whiny, I will say this much: I have no IRL friends to help me deal with this IF crap, my probable depression and my only outlet is this blog. I have found myself leaning on every single person who's supported me, left amazingly comforting comments and kept up with my goings-on even though they probably have better things to do. That said, for the first time in a long time, I had 2 posts with zero comments. I found that ironic since I've been leaving comments on tons of blogs lately. However, I have been following the pregnant bloggers who were once in the trenches with me, it just hurts too much to comment. Is that nuts?

All I'm saying is, I'm sorry if I've offended anyone to cause this sudden blackout of commentary. I'm also sorry that I can sometimes be really negative or obsessive. I just don't know how else to be anymore.

I did realize this weekend though that this year, DH and I have traveled extensively (though 2 trips were 100% infertility-related) and when we started TTC, I hated scheduling anything travel-wise because I just knew I'd be pregnant and couldn't go.

Ha.

So I'm living my life. With DH. Who, now that I'm on BCPs, seems to annoy the hell out of me even though he's not doing anything wrong.

Peace out.

3 comments:

Do I Have to Be a D.I.N.K.? said...

Sorry for the big o'le Zit...BCP can suck it! and Yea for the BCP because it means starting IVF in January! I am hoping to start my BCP around Jan 1st...not sure how long I will be on them before stims. Hopefully we will be close and can be cycle buddies! Happy Turkey Day!

Lindsay said...

Hey! I've been reading every post, but because work is kicking my butt I usually don't have time to comment! I am always cheering for you and keep you in my T&Ps! I'll make sure to comment more often ;-)

Maria said...

Hey Christa! As you can probably tell, I've had to take a little break from my blogging. I've just been too devastated and I can't find the words anymore. I don't have any idea what the next steps are for us. I'd like to do one more IVF, but that just seems out of reach right now. I was cleaning out my fridge of everything IF-related, and I have 5 vials of Repronex that are good through January. If you want to meet up sometime (not sure where exactly you are), maybe when you're on your way SL (we live right off off 380/218, you can certainly have it. You are in such a hopeful place right now, with a fresh IVF cycle just around the corner! I am wishing the very best!!

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