Time Continues To Pass

I've been kind of bummed this month because my due date for pregnancy #4 is coming up at the end of the month. The other bloggers out there who got their BFPs when I got mine are about to pop and I guess I'm just sad about that. Of course I'm happy for them, but at the same time I was so looking forward to our Christmas or New Years' baby.

At the same time though, we're really getting excited for next month. 5 1/2 weeks until the projected retrieval...6 weeks till the transfer. I get to start sticking myself with needles in 2 weeks and 2 days. What a great Christmas present!  I started the second pack of BCPs last night too and go to see that I wasn't even going to be finishing the whole pack so that was neat. I have a great routine at night - I take my prenatals, chewable baby aspirin, Folgard and birth control pill right before bed. I find that taking them at night helps with the nausea I seem to get from taking pills.

Dr. S talked with us as to why I'm on the Long Lupron protocol. They really want to take control of my ovaries and my body as a whole because, like my personality, it likes to do what it wants, not necessarily what it should. So with the 5-ish weeks of BCPs plus the Lupron at the end of the BCPs, my body is reproductively being shut down and then restarted. Like what I do with my laptop when it's being a brat. Kind of. But I've done a lot of research on why Lupron is introduced and overlapped with the last few days of BCPs. It's essentially a recruitment period when those two hormone treatments kind of wake up the dormant ovaries and let them know that something big is coming.

I should have a bleeding period (not sure if it'll be full-blown AF like I normally deal with, which will be painful and at least 7 days long) once I stop taking the BCPs which will be on 12/27, two days after I start the Lupron. But the first monitoring appointment won't be till 6 days after I stop the BCPs so I should be nearly done bleeding by the 3rd of January, right? I just don't know.

I am kind of writing this post (and most others) as a journal entry for myself too, so that I can look back and remember what I felt, experienced and learned during this whole process. If we have a baby, then great because we'll be going back for a sibling later on. If not, then I can also look back to see what we did and ask specifically why it didn't work.

Here are my main fears at this point for the IVF cycle regarding my potential response to the meds:

- I usually got 1-2 follicles from Clomid. A lead follicle would jump out very quickly, usually by CD11 or CD12. What if my body is still stupid and decides to get a lead follicle again instead of doing what the 20 units of Lupron and the double dosages of Follistim are trying to make it do?
- What if I have tons of follicles but they're over-mature?

Hmmm. I'm starting to play the what if game. I should stop because I think I'll drive myself crazy too early in this process. I'm trying to limit my stress, even before I'm being injected 4 times a day. Man my belly is going to look (and feel) awful.

Finally, DH's parents offered to come with us for one of the monitoring appointments during the week we'll be driving back and forth every other day. They said they'd drive for us and let us rest. How nice, right? I think we'll be taking advantage of their offer.