Thursday, January 27, 2011

7dp3dt - Want The BFP Scoop?

It is my rule to take a picture with a positive digital, so I did last night. As part of that rule I post it on my blog. I can't tell what kind of face I'm making but I remember still being in a bit of shock. 



I mean, come on, right? What the whaaaat?

6 days past a 3 day transfer and I'm getting positive digis?

Here's how this played out:

I started testing with FRERs at 4dp3dt. I wanted that trigger to be gone. GONE gone. Well that was at 9 days past the trigger and I saw such a faint line (see: turning 90 degrees at a time and tilting under bright lights) on that FRER on Monday that I figured it was still the trigger and hoped that by Tuesday (5dp3dt) the test would be completely negative. So I was using Dollar Tree tests and FRERs about every 12 hours since Monday night. And I want to say that Dollar Tree tests blow. I quit using those things. Sure I was seeing something, but if I'm getting positives on FRERs and Digitals, the dang cheapos should be pretty clearly postitive, right? Man!

Anyhow, Tuesday morning I tested in the AM (5dp3dt) with a Dollar Tree and it looked faint or negative so I quit caring and moved on with my day, totally bummed, convinced that this whole thing had failed.

THEN: I tested after work with a Dollar Tree test Tuesday night (5dp3dt). Now I would be posting pictures of all of these but my freakin' phone cam sucks so much that they're all blurry. Besides, I barely saw the second line that night myself. Also, and here's the kicker: I took a digital EPT that night and it said, "Not Pregnant". I was disappointed but not surprised. I mean, come on. BUT: that meant the trigger was definitely gone.

I was really confused because I was seeing a second line the evening of 5dp3dt. That's waaaay too soon, right? But I showed DH and he said he saw it, barely, and we both got a little excited. That was my major attitude adjustment that I'd mentioned in my Wednesday morning post.

I tested yesterday morning, the dawn of 6dp3dt. It was positive. There was no mistaken that light pink line. I woke DH up before his alarm and told him....I couldn't believe it! This was really happening! But I didn't want to blog about it because I was worried that I'd get a comment that it was too early and my happy bubble would burst. I just wanted to enjoy the day while I could, just in case it popped when I got home.

We went to the drug store last night to refill my Folgard 2.2 and I decided to pick up another box of FRERs (3 tests inside, not 2!) and a box of Answer tests, just for fun (2 in that box) and we went home, oblivious as to what was about to happen. I went upstairs and used a dollar tree test and an FRER. The DT was sucky. Waste of a dollar. The FRER? Best yet. That second line was much more pink than that morning's test.

Then I said, "Fuck it.", and went and grabbed the last digital I had of the two I'd been saving since the last pregnancy shit-storm from Spring 2010. It was a Clearblue Easy digital and those suckers are hard to get a BFP with, trust me.

I set it down with the hourglass flashing, taking pictures of the positive FRER (again, at 6dp3dt! What is going on?!?!?), when I saw it.


PREGNANT.


My hand flew to my mouth and I started crying. I couldn't believe it, but it had to be true. So I grabbed the FRER and the CBE and put them in my robe pocket and went downstairs where DH was doing some dishes (he has been so flippin' sweet these days I hope I reward him handsomely when I'm feeling less like a fat pincushion) and I stuck the FRER in his face, nicely, and asked if he saw "it". He said it was much darker and he could see it. Then I got out the CBE and showed him and he smiled and said something about it being great and I started crying again and asked for a hug. I didn't care if his hands were wet, we hugged and I cried and I told him that I was so happy. He laughed at me for crying but he knew I was emotional and hormonal. I also reminded him I felt so much pressure because all the money we spent was his retirement money, that this was our one shot for a long time. (By the way, for the rest of the night I clutched that CBE and kept checking it because I thought it would suddenly say NOT PREGNANT. Tell me nobody's thought this, please. I can't be that nuts.)

Then I went and took some more pictures and then, as you know, I blogged because I had to let you all know. But I want to say this: I have seen so many BFPs on blogs over the past 3 years that have been slaps in my face. It wasn't anything that the ladies said or did, but a reminder to me that I didn't have it. This is not an obligatory apology to anyone, but I have been on the other end of failure for so long that for one moment last night, it was amazing to be able to share some good news for once. Who knows how this will turn out?

It's my fifth pregnancy. I'm trying not to be superstitious or worrisome about it. I feel confident - for now - because of the following:

This is the earliest BFP I've ever gotten. By a long shot.
Dr. Simckes has me on Prednisone (to "fix" the probable NK cells that might have been killing other babies).
Dr. Simckes has me on Heparin (to "fix" the probable clotting disorder that I might have).
Dr. Simckes has me on PIO (to make sure that I get plenty of Progesterone in case I ever had an issue with that).
I'm on Folgard and Rx-strength prenatals.
I had fluid in my uterus 11 days before the transfer and he cleared it out.
I had a tiny dot of fluid again on retrieval day but they said the PIO would make it go away.
After being dumb and googling all the fluid info I could get, it was still gone by transfer day.
My lining was over 14 mm at ET and there was zero fluid.
Dr. Simckes would NEVER have proceeded if he thought the cycle would be threatened or a complete bust.
The embryo(s) are clearly in there now and putting off some serious HCG.
I don't feel like this will be a chemical because I've had one of those and it was the opposite of this.
I doubt this is ectopic.
Finally, we can only hope that we get a take-home baby (or two!) from this pregnancy because we now know how crappy my eggs are.
BUT.
I feel confident today, and I hope the betas are reflective of my confidence.

In a freakin' week! I mean why not 11dp3dt?! Daaang! 14dp3dt sucks. But at least I can start obsessing over them later and enjoy the pregnancy now, for what it is.

I tested again this morning and the FRER is ever so slightly darker than last nights, but in 12 hours, its hard for it to increase that much. But comparing yesterday morning's test to this mornings test for DH was such a difference. Night and day how much darker that line is this morning. Freakin' nutz people. Its 7dp3dt and I'm pregnant.

*I got another blog award - this time from the lovely Bridget and I'm so sorry I haven't gotten a chance to acknowledge it yet, but I will for sure post about it later today or tomorrow! Also Bridget, your socks went out in the mail yesterday so I hope you get them today or tomorrow - good luck with your retrieval! 

**It's going to be tough keeping this from my Mom. She asks me every day how I'm doing, but when she knows I'm pregnant she gets all clingy and excited and talks about it all the dang time with assvice that I don't want. So I'm going to blissfully pretend we don't know anything yet and keep her at arms length till we get our beta result next Thursday. One more week of a secret. Sigh....

15 comments:

Cady said...

You are definitely not nuts! The night I got my BFP, I stared at it all night thinking it would suddenly say "not pregnant" too! So excited for you!

Still A Guest Room said...

So excited for you!

Amanda said...

Seriously- I am beyond happy for you guys! =) Will you call and ask that your beta be moved up?

threadingmywaytobaby said...

Yeahh! I am so happy for you!!! I have been seriously feeling nervous about reading blog posts recently. I am darn glad. Congratulations to you two!. Good job. Your doctor sounds awesome. Thanks to him. What an emotional ride you've been on!

Katie said...

So awesome! You reaction looks like shock. :)

Congratulations, again!

Anonymous said...

So pleased for you! I had given up on HPTs, convinced they were jinxed, by the time I actually got pregnant, so I love reading about how it *should* be. It does seem early, but if you were feeling implantation on Monday, I think the HCG would definitely be high enough a couple of days later.

Good luck hanging on until your beta. I agree that you could always try calling and telling them you had a positive HPT.

Bridget said...

I am so thrilled for you!! My retieval went well- I'll blog about it later. I got home from IA City to find your socks in my mail box- thank you!! (of course Steve went out and got me some to wear so now I have a lot of socks to choose from on transfer day). Thank you again- you're the best!

Sushigirl said...

Yay! Well done!

Jen said...

Congrats!! I've been reading your blog for a bit now and am so happy for you!!

Marissa said...

Wow, congratulations!!! I truly hope to be in your shoes any day now!

Calmly Chaotic said...

This is so exciting!!!!! Big congratulations to you!!

Mr. Thompson and Me said...

Enjoy. Every. Blissful. Moment.

Don't fret and don't fear. Just enjoy. (and you're not a nut. I'd do the same thing!)

Sarah said...

Celebrate girl!!! It seems like you are very much preggo, all signs point to YES :) Enjoy this! You deserve it. ;)

Maria Joy said...

Congratulations! You should be completely confident. Everything is different this time around, and I'm so happy for you!

LisaB said...

CONGRATS!!!

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